Derren Brown

Now, Derren Brown is a rather impressive guy to watch. Those of you who have yet to see him for want of a short phrase, hes a mind reader, but he isnt. Its purswasion, illusion, and suggestion and a lot of flare!

They showed him "live" at some theatre, and yes, some of its hard to believe such as things like he is supposed to have stopped his heart beating and then walked over some glass and had some big guy stand on him.. which Im sorry if your heart stopped that long you'd fall over, or be actually dead..

However, a lot of it is just so entertaining to watch. The last one he did he got a cabby who knows London like nothing else and he got him to give out random directions.. Now as a prelude to this the audience had met at some train station been put on a bus with no windows, blindfolded walked into the theatre so they didnt know where they were.. the directions were how to get to the theatre they were at from the tubestation... but not the same route they went on the bus.. Stuff like that is impressive.

Today he did this strange things with buttons, hard to imagine anything that strange with buttons

He said that as a kid he used to get picked on and to distract himself from the pain of the kicking he would count things, and he got very good at it.. anyway, basically he got a woman to grab a few handfuls of buttons onto a tray, cover the tray, cover the original bowl so he cant see and guess. Then slap him to death and pull cover off the tray, and in less than a second he proclaimed the number of buttons on the tray.. she counted them under a camera.. and he was right..

Now, thats freaky, but it gets more freaky

Next he made her shake the tray around so the buttons were moving.... and do the same..
He got that right too!!

He did some other weird stuff in other programs like a room of like 60 or was it 100 objects and got a person to creep around and select an object.. yeah despite being blindfold and there being no noise... he knew which object it was.. strange stuff

but its really facinating to watch.

So if you've never seen him and it comes up on your tv schedule..

WATCH IT for a laugh! You'll find yourself wondering how he did it.

Oh, only ones not to try were the rusian rulette one, and anything else that could cause death.

more on Glandular fever/mono

So..

Christmas eve it started, hinting away with a mouth ulsa, now, its the gland in my neck as well, I dont feel ill but the gland stuff is always tiring, the mouth ulsa is painful and annoying.

So, Im tired. But this week I had a trip to the inlaws today, and my Dad on thursday! So, no lounging in bed for me for a few days to give me a better chance of being well, no no, following the trip to my Dad, I only have friday and monday off and its back to work as if nothing happened..

I wonder.. naa work would never let me book 2 weeks off starting the wednesday (or thursday for that matter), mind you, even if they had, the 2 weeks would fly and it would be just the same if nothing else had changed, except Id be down 2 weeks holiday though.

Happy Christmas!!

Yep, its christmas day, and as always you can find me where Im at my best.. Behind my keyboard!

You know, its disapointing to see how many of my geek friends arent doing the same.. oh well, time to watch more festive tv.. wait.. there isnt any.. Oh well, more reruns of sad pathetic old shows Ive seen more times than Ive thought of.

Whats the point of tescos?

So, its saturday, ok the saturday before christmas, but to be honest, for our tesco, what Im about to say applies to every saturday and sunday going.

Why open if you dont have any food!!

A funny!

Now, if you are the easily offeneded kind, or find the following personally offensive in anyway, Im sorry. But this is funny.

SouthPark does

On this kinda note - not sure if I mentioned it before, probably but hey, I dont remember so you can get it again.

We've all noticed now how everyone has some kinda medical issues now-a-days, wether its exma, asthma, allergies, through to more serious things like MS and so on..

But if we had all lived 100 years back, next to none of this would have existed.

The problem is that when some new one gets a name and in the press, everyone has it, its like the being fat excuse of "its my glands" .. yes, legitmiately for some people this is true, but for all those who blame them, very few actually medically have backing of this. Now, speaking as a person who is larger than the doctors deam "Normal".. Id love to have this excuse, but, I know where my additional weight came from, chemo, followed by being so tired and run down I couldnt do much and stuffing my face to gain energy but not, just pileing on the pounds.

So, onto the subject, and again, if you find this offensive, Im sorry, but, its just my thoughts.

A.D.D, I dont disbelieve in it, so let me make that clear, but so many people online claim ADD.. In fact, play online game, find someone under 15 or so, their age will show in something if you group/raid and hey presto "be nice to me I have ADD" seems to be the default reply.. Is ADD really that prevelant or, is it just the case of because disipline is lacking now in todays society, after all kids now cant even fail exams, or be told things are wrong.. they seem to have little respect for anyone.. so, is that really ADD or just little oik ??

Hmm, vanguard download

So, I waited all day, watching the timer count down to like 5 minutes..

Then it shot up to 11 hours!!!

now despite even restarting it, in case it was a little confused.... it still thinks theres 7 hours to go

if this sucks when I get there, I'll be very bored.

Vanguard!?

Now, I know Im getting older, and I know one day my memory will fail and not long after that incontinancy will follow Im sure.. but, hopefully those days arent here yet.. but I am thinking that they maybe sooner than I'd like, why?

I got an invite to the vanguard beta, this is MMORG game long awaited by main game players out there, only to find.. its run by Sony! Im sure, Im so so sure, that so much of the hype about why vanguard was going to be great was because it wasnt done by the makers of EQ. Well ,it was, but it was being done by those who had left EQ and moved on to do vanguard.. Now, it seems Sony has that too?

Karate lesson #6

The final less for 2006, was an odd less, it was very much geared around christmas and children, and paying 5 pound 50 to kinda watch kids play games isnt necessarily my idea of good value. However.. it was the second half of our grading..

Technically I am now a white belt with little yellow tips, Im 8th Kyu or something. :) whee!

Chillis may save the world! (Diabetes cure found!)

Now, those of us who love chillis (personally, I love finely chopped chillis on toast, yes, you read that right, take a chilli, remove the seeds, finely chop stick on toast with a bit of butter.) This article just tells us maybe all we ever needed to know about chillis.

Diabetes cure?

Now, for those of you with diabetes, I bet that any results of this finding wont come quick enough, but, at least this is the most positive thing to come for diabetics everywhere in a long time. After all, this is potentially a cure, not a treatment!

However, I was interested to read that back in 1999 it said they found it was like pain, and that some guy on a whim decides to try injecting chilli stuff, and hey presto.. It comes back to 1 thing though.. All these break throughs, is it me, or is sometimes something natural and simple often the best answer? Pills and potions always seem to have more side effects.

Karate lesson #5

Today we did the first half of our gradings for yellow belt. So, of course, despite the fact last week I remember it all nicely, this week, I messed up.

However, other than we are being scruitinised for our grading, this week was much like last week. I wanted to talk to the trainer after the lesson, but he was busy, next week is our last week before christmas.

I fear I will fail, I got the impression from before the lesson that its almost impossible to fail.. but, somehow, I guess the inner doubts I have make me feel I will.. And its for those reasons Im going, I need to improve myself confidence.. that and it would be nice to think if some guy came at me I could at least put up some resistance.

Nigela Lawson.. A rant by me

For those who may not know, Nigela Lawson is supposedly a chef. She is currently on my tv talking about cooking. However, there is so much wrong with this woman its hard to know where to start.

This is the kind of woman who would say things like "I would only use wine that has been hand crushed by vestal virgins from mount Olympus and you only need 3 bottles" ...

She really seems to insist on the most expensive things, and while we know often they probably do taste better, lets grab some realism, I dont mind spending time preparing a meal, I dont mind spending *some* money on making it nice.. but Im not spending a months wages on a snack, and Im not going to have go to on 87 holidays just to get the pieces she blathers on about.

The series called Naked Chef by Jamie Oliver, was based on good simple premise, buy reasonable food, cook it, eat it. Minimal greif, for nice food. Great respect for that. Nigela has never had anything practical about her cooking.

She all but finely chops herbs and then places each piece on the food.. where as anyone else just throws.. She has a voice to drive you to drink too, and originally I admired the fact she was a cook (I cant bring myself to say shes a chef, as to why, I shall explain later), and was thin.. sadly was is so much the word. Now, Im never gonna win thinnest person UK, but she makes me look thin.

So.. why the "cook" ?? well she was on radio saying how she hated cooking and that it was too much effort to warm food from the fridge/freezer..

So, she should get stuffed, shes a rich person sapping even more money by making pretentious cooking programs.. and if I never saw her on my tv again.. Id be happy.

PS Oz Clarke is nearly as annoying about wine.. guess which program followed hers?

Karate lesson #4

Today we did that first kata all the way through, which is 20 moves in total I think. So, I feel pleased with myelf. I however sponged a lift off the instructor home - its like 10 minute walk but it was quite windy, and spitting looking like it might immenantly throw it.. so, he was kind enough to let me in the car :P

We did a lot more today, it was hard work, I went very red and blotchy coz I was hot, I was terribly sweaty, so took my 2nd t-shirt off.. came to put it on at the end and it was cold and wet.. EWWWW - half the reason I didnt want to walk home coz I was cold already!!

We saw the second kata today, as 2 new people came, one has a yellow belt the other orange, and the second one (yellow) is the same as the first but with kicks, you punch kick on the single steps and kick punch on the linked steps.. so, it should be fairly easy to remember when my time comes!

The weekend comes and goes

Cant believe its saturday night already, its nearly 11pm, and what did I do today?

Charlie went down the vet, whos still pleased with his progress, to the point we dont have to go next week, we get the week off, a trip to tesco, played a short bit of wow, did some crochet.. I really dont know where it all went..

Sunday, well Dad will ring around 10am tomorrow, as always, I'll wash a few clothes.. then it will be monday!

Id like to recommend two products for you though

MediaMonkey - a media player, written in delphi, its real cool!
Bits Du Jour - a place that sometimes has great software for a stupidly cheap price. This week, for example I bought automise from them for $19.95, normal price? $195!!!

Ever had the feeling...

We've all done something and had that feeling where you think, if I had used just 1 brain cell, just 1, I wouldnt have done that.. but..

Have you ever found yourself wondering if your brain is really wired wrong? Either when you really cant grasp the concept of something you know must be simple, or that you just dont find something funny that everyone else is virtually hospitalised with hysterics over, or something??

Im having a week where I swear there must be something really really differently wrong in my head..

Charlie the pup

So, how is Charlie you ask?

Well last weekend he got done with the trimmers. and I mean done.
So, as you can probably see the photo was taken just as I finished the job, and hadn't as yet tidied up! Hes sitting next to his pile of fur.. the rest being splattered around the landing carpet.

He does look very different when hes done, when his fur is around 2 inches + he looks very bearded collie, which he half is, but when trimmed the springer spaniel side of him shows through strongly.

Hes also happier as usually like now by the time I do him his fur is getting longer and hes feeling quite hot. He doesnt enjoy a fair chunk of the trimming, feet especially, he also has a very short attention span, but with the new trimmer I bought last year it does only take 15-20 minutes including the breaks to do him, where as the first time I did him, he didnt mind me doing it quite so much but I only had nail scissors and it took about 2.5-3 hours!!!

The vets went well this weekend (yes this should really have come before the Karate 3 post), the vet is please hes well and doing fine, although perhaps a little too fine as he must not try and walk on the leg and well Charlie feels he should when only moving a few steps.

Another good point this weekend was that Charlies weight is down, he was 45kg. Hes now around 41.85! thats great weight loss considering its not like hes getting much exercise.

Its still hard not to spoil him rotten, let him play and so on as you can see in him that hes missing the fun and sad, and when anyones sad you want to cheer them up, somehow.

Karate lesson #3

Well, success again this week. No falling over.

We've learnt some punches, some kicks and, some blocks.

Im biologically at a disadvantage for the short stomache punch as you need to put your elbow in to your stomache.. only.. well.. as a female, there are 2 "glands" which get in the way..

We do stomache punches, head punches, back hand head level punches, back hand sideways punches, short stomache punches, rising elbow punches and.. round elbow punches...we then do front kicks, side kicks, round kicks and back kicks. (the kicks not too surprisingly I do very well given Im flexible, but without the balance is when Im most likely on the floor)

we do head blocks, inside hook blocks, outside hook blocks, downward blocks and sweeping blocks.

While that sounds like a lot of stuff, its generally announced "do this" and then we do like 10 of them, and maybe 10 faster, or 10 of something else and then swap back.. this is ok

what is harder is we are now being taught to do them and move. So things like bounce back and forth on your feed and then punch.. believe it or not, its amazing how many ways there are to mess that up!

We are also being taught our first kata, katas are like a routine. This first one has around 20 moves in it, and while all are made from one of the above...remembering which is next, which foot/hand to move..what to do with the rest of you..oh and when trying to turn 270 degrees of course, not fall over.. this is actually surprisingly hard.

We've learnt the first moves they go something like

stand, turn 90 degrees left and block with left hand in a lower block,
step forward and punch
turn 180 and block with right hand in a lower block
step forward and punch
turn 90 degrees left and block lower block with left and
step forward punch
step forward punch
step forward punch and shout
270 degree turn and block with I think right hand.. gets a bit mushy here
and I think stepforward and punch..

Well I found this link .. you tell me how good I remembered!

Karate me II

Well

today was the second karate lesson. I found to my surprise I had remembered far more than I had thought I had. We did some combinations today, as well as a new kick, and the first 3 moves on the "first kata" which is a routine to prove your skill. Last week I had serious issues with the blocks, next to none of them worked for me, in the sense that I could block with the arm to prevent the blow/kick.. but the other kinda well my brain didnt know what to do with it, it could only concentrate on 1 arm at a time. This week I got a couple of them almost right! yay and I didnt fall over this week either, always a bonus.

I must be really really deranged.

So.

I thought I heard the front door shut.. odd considering my hubby and I were upstairs, as were both dogs.. So, I wanderded down, the light was on.. even more concerned I opened the door, to find a man standing there, big grin on his face.

The short story goes.

His name is Mike and hes a karate instructor starting lessons in my area, would I sign up.

Well.

I confess.

I have.

no no, seriously, stop laughing.

I have!

I start monday..

I'll write from hospital I promise :P

My thoughts go to Sophie

In 1999 I had leukaemia, to some of you this is no shock, you already knew, however to those who didnt.. :P I did so there.

anyway, a young girl near here has it, and is blogging about her time. I had kind of done something similar except I got little time at home or online while I was in, and well, even though it was only 7 years ago, its funny how time was so different then.

You can read about her here

For those who missed my waffle on me inside you can read that here

Ballroom dancing (quick note)

Why is it (watching celebrity come dancing thing) in waltzes etc which are romantic the woman throws her head back and looks as far away from the guy as humanly possible with a look on her face like "Man you stink!"

Poor pup!

This last week has been hard, and if you aren't a pet owner, or haven't had small kids, this may not make a lot of sense. But, we have 2 dogs, Charlie and Kiera. Kiera was rescued be me from wandering up and down a duel carriage way, and abandoned, having captured her, phoning the most famous organisation for rescuing animals.. they said "Is she injured?" on no.. they said "Sorry we don't do stray animals".. fine.. sorry guys I had a lot of love for that organisation, ever last scrap went with that comment. (As they do do strays!!!)

Charlie, was our first pup and I guess in someways that will always make him a little special. However, there is just something about him, his character he is just a special little guy (little isn't really a good word, as hes 45kg!)

anyway

Last year, Charlie had an operation on his ear for a lump, which we were told was benign, but has reoccurred so he had an op again this year on the 28th (I thought I had blogged about my response when we were told it was back and stuff.. but apparently not, just as well the post would have been rather angry)

Well this week has been a week of tragedy

On going back on Monday for a check up Charlie had been exceedingly more than reluctant to get in my car. To the point of in trying we had succeeded in ripping the plastic facia stuff off the back, as well as him fretting and ending up on my front seat, well bum in the foot well paws on the seat with him drooling like a manic thing into the seat..

When we were told we should come back Wednesday, I made him a deal. You get in the car without too much fuss, and we'll go for a big big walk round the fields near the vets, as on the Monday I had rewarded him with a short walk there and he had behaved so well (we don't have good places to let dogs off the leads near us all the big green bits open straight onto roads where cars are doing between 40-60mph..)

Wednesday came, he got in the car with little effort, and so his reward was an hour of walks around the fields, he was the model of perfection, any fears I had about his behavior when things may crop up, like people walking there too (he tends to bounce) I could call and he would come back and walk with me, when other dogs came in he didn't rush and play, he stayed with me as asked and well I could have cried I was just so proud..

What happened next was the saddest thing (Well it could have been worse I grant but, there is no justice here)

I commented to a lady with her 2 collies how well behaved they were and the collies took a ball and came over to charlie and asked him to play so I let him, so they all played together, Kiera couldn't be bothered, and it was glorious to see everyone playing in the wonderful sunshine..

I was about to go, so through the ball 1 last time.

Charlie didn't make it there first, and then turned and lifted his back leg up, he wouldn't put it down, he had hurt himself.

he came back looking real sorry

so I checked his paw, lay him down, checked his leg he didn't whine, couldn't find anything obvious.

So we went back to the vet - Poor Charlie had to walk, it was probably half mile!

The vet looked and found the problem very quickly

Charlie had broken both Cruciate ligaments in his knee (Explained here ) in short, these are a X shaped pair that hold the knee together.

I was devastated, what a horrible way for such immaculate behavior to be rewarded.

An operation was booked for the next day, I asked to attend. It was granted, I was kinda relieved, having 2 ops in a week is certainly not good for a dog, and I had so many fears, and I confess there is an element of feeling at fault so being there at the making better was to help me feel included in the doing so.

The vets have been marvelous, the even reshuffled bringing the op forward - the sooner done, the less damage happens to the inner bits of his leg.

The op went well.. The best that could be expected, no complications, no compromises, all good.. For someone (me) who's scared of needles like you've never seen, I do have a rather curious lack of issue as long as they are going into someone else. So, even watching someone I love as much as Charlie, was not an issue, seeing them cutting and poking and even the scary hook thing they used to pop his knee.. not a flinch.. (kinda just as well the room wasn't that big if I had passed out, thrown up or such there was no room!)

The hardest part was as he came round he cried, I think 90% of it was disorientation the rest was telling me how scared he was..

I spent most of the next 24 hours hugging him, this included me sleeping on the floor, freezing my bits off (had to be the coldest night so far this year didn't it!?) with only my clothes, a coat and in the end a rug Charlie had chewed as a pup to keep me warm.

Last night finally for the first time he managed to getup on his own, and he wanted to wander out having had to err, "leak" onto a towel for the last day, and did all he needed in the garden without me having to support him and you have no idea how much I had worried about the tactics of doing this.

Well today, Saturday, we went back for a checkup, and the vet said it was better than expected, this is such a relief.

However, as you can see from the pic I will attach, Charlie had the life of royalty for that time (and its not much different now) with his water being bought to him and offered him in bowls, each dog biscuit of his tea hand fed.. and.. HE got the couch!!






Before you ask, the pillow case is covering his leg, which has about a 9" set of stitches on it, but it was more to keep the draft off it

Something useful

This is something a friend (thank you Chris) pointed me at today. Its kinda useful. Like most, I am always sceptical when it reckons 750 odd things are wrong with your PC and you look through and yes, some you go yes, I removed, that.. but others were like it when you got it and you just have that fear that you'll say "fix it" and well.. nuffin will work ever ever again.

The feelings inside

Well, since the doc put me on some pills, occasionally Ive felt odd, sometimes kinda shakey you know like when after you throw up real good and you feel a bit weak and kinda fragile, you dont actually shake but you feel like you are. Or Ive felt nautious or dizzy but not enough, just a little.

Its tough. Coz nothing is bad enough that you can really explain it proper, and its not predictable and you always manage to think of other reasons why it could be that way.. such as, you're hungry, or, tired, or didnt sleep well..

The other thing is.. Im finally losing more weight.. Ive been stuck at 15.5 stone all year and it wouldnt shift, now, Im nearer 15. Its only a few pounds and yeah not enough you could write home about, but, considering Ive been trying all year and just not getting anywhere, and finally its coming down again.. and, if it is related to the pills, nothings actually wrong enough that you know a doc would say.. stop.

Sitting here, it feels like Christmas!

For those of you who work, you'll understand!

You know how it us around Christmas when the sky is grey, its cold, miserable, you go to and from work in the dark and generally staying under the duvet sounds like the best plan ever.. And when you see at work the office is quiet as you maybe the only one in

Did I sleep for a couple of months or something?? Where is everyone??

Halloween?? isnt that next month?

OK, so, today I watched "kerching" or however its spelt, which was all about Halloween.. continued tomorrow.. Which was then followed by one of the CBBC presenters dressed up as dracula fangs and stuff about something eles Halloweeny....

Um, its 26th September (My Dads birthday), so, err, isnt halloween still 31st Oct or did I miss a new change in life somewhere??

Winter's a comin!

Its not even 8pm and yet its darker than midnight in the summer.
It seems, winter is here, or at least running at us at a huge rate. Mornings are dark enough, its so sad, everyone loves summer, no one loves winter in the same way, I love snow, I love crisp mornings, but, englands winters are just wet and miserable and grey and they seem to last ages, heck, its usually end of May or early June before you feel warmer!

Sigh..

Michael Schumacher to reture :(

Well, today sees the announcement he is retiring the end of the F1 year.

It was obvious at the end of the race when he went to hug so many of his team, not his normal reaction. It is sad. It was a glorious race, tension all the way, and yet another win for Michael in Italy.

I like so many thought less of him when he started, he was arogant and brash, but, hes mellowed with age and is a fenominal driver, and its sad hes going, but hes right, he needs to bow down for others to progress their careers and grow in their own right.

Homeopathic or just witchcraft?

Well.

If you look back in history, so many things were considered witchcraft, to be honest, at one point wearing make up was considered witchcraft, anyone having an affair was considered "under witchcraft" .. its been the blame for everything. So, is homeopathic remedies another form of witchcraft?

Well. Witchcraft is very different to pointy hats and broomstick riding and turning people into toads.

Witchcraft is more a way of life, trying to live with the earth not against it, and as a result herbs and so forth are very much within that realm. Looking back before we had great scientific laboratories, herbs were all there were to treat things, many medicines derive from plants, animals etc. They are just "purified" into little pills for us.

So, with the current change which may mean that homeopathic remedies are allowed to say what ailments they may treat, but pills and scientifically made items having to go through years of testing, while we can see that the scientists feel its unfair, perhaps we need to look at the fact that many of the homeopathic things have been around 100s if not 1000s of years, and that while they have been handed down and refined maybe, those years of people claiming it works have to count for something!

Like many people as Ive got older bits of me just dont seem to work like they used to. I am very prone to headaches, to the point I dont bother will neurofen, paracetamol, asprin etc because unless I take 3 or more of them, the headache doesnt seem effected because I have become slightly resistant to it. Similarly, I have pains in my gut, my wrist doesnt want to support my weight any more, my left foot has a whine in the morning, my backs been playing up.. Im just getting older..

But if someone said to you, put a packet of herbs in a cup and drink it once a day, and they were to go away with no side effects, no long term issues, wont make you ill in any way.. and all your problems will go..

Would you say no?

I dont think so. Problem with the pills and potions made in labs is that there are all too often, side effects. It might cure one thing, but it could make 3 more! If you read the boxes on most pills it has so many dont do this, and dont do that, and if this happens and if that happens and may causes!

For example: Neurofen (as its the only medicine pamphlet I have to hand)

Do not take them if:

you have or have ever had a stomach ulcer, perforation or bleeding
allergic to ibuprofen , to any of the ingredients, asprin or other painkillers
taking any other NSAIDs painkillers, or asprin with a dialy dose of 75mg or more
are in last 3 months of pregnancy
under 12 years old

You should ask your doctor if you can take them if

You have asthma or suffered from asthma
you have kidney, heart or liver or bowel problems
have systemic lupus erythematosus
you are taking any regular medication especially asprin, high bloodpressure or water tablets, anti-coagulants, corticosteroids, methotrexate, lithium, zidovudine
you are in the first 6 months of pregnancy or breast feeding

A final note... now heres an eye opener

nerufoen belongs to a group of medicines which may impair fertility in women...??? surely thats what headaches did :P

So, side effects:

disorders of the stomach and intestines including abdominal discomfort or pain, nausea, stomach ulcer, vomiting containing either blood or brown grit (like coffee grounds), black tarry stools, worsening of existing bowel diseases
blood disorders resulting in unexplained or unusual bruising or bleeding, fever, sore throat, moth ulcers, extreme pallor or weakness
allergic reactions including worsening of asthma, unexplained wheezing or shortness of breath, swelling of the face and tongue, collapse. In addition skin reaction (including hives and itching): these can be sever with blistering and peeling of skin.
Liver disorders that maybe indicated by yellowing of the skin and eyes or pale stools and dark urine
Kidney disorders that maybe indicated by passing less or more urine than normal, cloudy urine, blood in the urine, pain in the back and or swelling (particularly of the legs)
Nervous system disorders indicated by severe headache, neck stiffness, disorientation and light hurting the yes (**)

(** isnt that a migraine to you and me?)

and all that, may result.. for 2 pills you took to get rid of a headache!

Now think of the stuff on the market like forehead.. ok you can have allergic reactions to anything.. so ignore those, but, if they work? and have even any margin less of potential things that may come and kill you (I mean those side effects sound grim right?) wouldnt you want that new option?

Sunday life

Finally after descovering my IP got banned from an online sudoku site apparently for scripts, they finally released it (some what 2 weeks?)

Took the dogs out, went down the pub

Looking forward to no work tomorrow -shame its a bank holiday, but hey, no work tomorrow!!!

Survival properties of ...

You may have heard that cockroaches would survive pretty much anything.. A few years back Jeremy Clarkson ( A rather tall kind weird guy who talks a lot about cars ) proved that pizza was more heat repellant than the special tiles from the space shuttle..

Well.. Id like to add sweetcorn...

Why is it that sweetcorn always seem to go straight through??

158mph?

So, you're a policeman, in an unmarked police car, with no blues going. You open up and find yourself doing 158mph, and get caught.

What happens?

Well if you get caught as a normal person doing >100 you are almost certainly facing a ban from driving, you certainly get a lot of points and after 11 points you're out. You're banned from driving for a while.

So..
What did he get?

He got a few points and the judge felt the court proceedings were enough of a punishment..

EXCUSE ME???

This is so messed up.

My mother

A number of people who know me already know my mother walked out on the family in a less than gracefull manner. They also know as a result of this Im glad she is said to live far from me, as theres no chance I run into her..

Problem is, there have been times when Ive felt that I miss the person who should be there. This was especially true when I got married, lots of things mothers would be therefore, of course, she wasnt, heck she wasnt there for me when I was ill, why would she care for me being married? However, there have been odd moments when Ive felt sad at her loss from our family. One was a film where the kid wouldnt ever see his mother again.. and it dawned on me I wouldnt be seeing mine.. Tonight is another.

Im sitting here with my crochet blanket growing quite nicely, but I looked at it and it dawned on me how she would be so happy at how well I was doing, parents are good at that, my Dad still is, but they are (probably out of habbit Im sure) proud of things you do, they keep the terrible things you make that 2 days further on you cant even remember what it was its so deformed.. because you made it.

I dont know what bothers me, the fact shes not around, or the fact shes still in my head.

I had days when I feel very alone, days when 2 dogs, a husband, people at work, my friends, just all seem too far away somehow. I feel very distant from all the things I want to be near, even the hugs seem empty somehow.

I guess not aided by many of the people Id consider good friends, Ive never met. I love them dearly, Id do everything I could to make them happy, and them me, but, nothing beats that feeling of being hugged and it making you feel secure and warm and loved right to the middle

Finally something to look forward to

Im taking next week off work. I have to be "on call" for tuesday as someone else in a similar line is off, but to be honest, small price to pay even if I have to go in for a bit (long as they dont expect me at 7.30!)

Ive been feeling really run down, fedup, hassled, frustrated, angry, bitter and so much more. Hopefully a week off will sort me out.

Fake or Foto

A friend sent me this.

All I will say is Im floored by 1, Im not telling you which. I got 2 wrong, out of those 2 1 really really is impressive

You say it best...

Well, Ronan Keating (an irish singer) sang a song called "You say it best, when you say nothing at all"

My friend Chris asked if I was slacking. Im not, honest. I just fear for what I want to say, everything I want to say at the moment seems to be one of

1. Bitter
2. Spiteful
3. About work or work related topics which no doubt would be potentially offensive to anyone it referred to (even if deserved perhaps)
4. Likely to get me into trouble
5. Probably best left in my head only.

So, there you have it, many of the things I want to say do indeed fall into one or more of those categories, Im tired, running out of patience, bored out of my tiny mind at work and feeling some what bitter to some people who have arrived since my joining and are "too busy" to do the things they were given that are my job, and Im sitting there counting pixels and sceiling tiles, I just wish I had the money to work part time, or , for a company who possibly cant pay much but at least who would listen to my suggestions..

I got told in my appraisal that I was the best person for giving suggestions, and then about 10seconds later was told that I was quick to say somethings wouldnt work but with no solutions.. Im still trying to think of 1 suggestion Ive had feedback on in the 18 months.. so.. Hey boss, if you're reading this (you can never be sure after all)..

I NEED THE DARN FEEDBACK IM FED UP, I'LL GIVE YOU SOME MORE SUGGESTIONS IF YOU EVEN COMMENT ON THE ONES I'VE ALREADY SUGGESTED, THERE MUST BE CLOSE TO OVER 200 IN THAT LIST SO FAR.

There. That was about the only thing I can say thats harmless. But, so much of it is probably feelings and thoughts in my head that maybe shouldnt be there, or arent true, but sure do currently hurt and make me mad..

Something someone said today really really angered me, and I cant overly explain but, this person was given a job to do that I had previously been doing, something I truely love. Anyway, this person was too busy to do something and we missed a great opportunity.. today, they commented on that I never seemed to be lagging behind and they envied it.. so, as it was late, and Im tired and feeling somewhat less patient than even than normal, I pointed out I had no work todo, I have basically 1 spreadsheet to make in the next 4 weeks and I could probably do it in 20 minutes if I really wanted. They asked why I didnt then try and do this thing we missed out on.. ERR.. coz the whole offers withdrawn, its not possible, they didnt do what they were supposed to and we missed it! They really didnt understand .. and its just so agravating because they are seen (now) as the lead person in this subject..

ARGH

Could this be?

Could this be the only ever positive thread on a MMORG forum??

A picture tells a 1000 words.

64 bit!!??

Dont do it

For all your sanity, such as it is

DONT DO IT

I bought me a Scaleo P..

1st mistake - not noticing it comes with a 32bit OS when its a 64 bit computer.
2nd mistake - not taking it back when spotting 1st.

why?

Well

Having traulled the net downloading the ATI 64 bit drivers, nforce drivers (as ASUS says the card is an nForce and it aint), installing pretty much any 64bit driver that could have worked..
and got somewhere, so sound may be working (no speakers attached to prove it), graphics now working ok, one small issue.

NO FLIPPING NETWORK CARD

the onboard and the compaq cards we had floating around all claimed "No network driver needed"..

yeah well windows 64 dont have drivers for them so it is!!!

sigh

Finally I after more random installings.. the "fujitsu-seamens internal something blah" works with the compaq... but hey..

So it only took me most of 2 days to get a "working network card" how lame is that.

help!! before I go mad!

I have bought me a fujitsu-seamens "Scaleo P" machine, its 64 bit.. (yeah not that it came with anything 64 bit!)

So, I put my XP 64 on it, and graphics, audio etc

Except

Cant find a network card driver that works - MB claims its an A8NE-FM

Meaning so far its pretty much an elaborately new door stop, no network? bah

Well arent I stupid?

For tea I was chopping an onion with a food slicer one of those V shape violently sharp things.. I confess without the guard, why? well getting started is often a problem so I got it going and all was well it looked like an inch left and it was set to 0.75mm slices.. only obviously it was a slight illusion with the root and well slice "oops" .. its more like 2mm slices and there was a rather impressive lump of the end of my finger ..

It didnt bleed that much but now I have a rather flat spot on my finger.. I am such a moron

Glandular fever (or mono to the US friends)

When I was I think 16 I had glandular fever, I had it good too, none of this maybe stuff. Oh no.. I had it really good, I went from great health to the worst case my doctor of some 40 years practicing had seen in about 30 minutes! Pretty much in front of his eyes.

I had a raging temperature, and every gland ever it seemed turned into at least a golf ball.

Thankfully for me I dont really get relapses, for those few and misfortunate guys Ive gone out with however, I am a carrier! So have kindly left each and every one with something to remember me by.. Stupid part is the version I am a carrier for is not the version I had (Im never that simple) I had the temp and gland variety, I carry the full rash version.

Why am I saying this..

Well some 18 years later Im having a fairly good relapse. I have some glands up and they are quite painful, and Im horrendously tired, so so tired.. However, while I could go to the docs, probably even be signed off for a few weeks.. why? All I'll do is sit here at my computer, I might as well go to work.. Its not like I have "relations" with any of them so they arent going to get it

A philosophical view.

There is always more to anyone than you think, even you yourself. I woudlnt believe anyone who says they have never had a secret from someone or not told the truth at least once. Even if its really minor, everyone has kept a secret, even if only to the "does my bum look big in this"

As a result, its actually very hard even when you want to believe its the truth to really deep down have that feeling it is the truth. Wether it just wondering if people say something behind your back, or when you asked for their opinion did you really get all of it?

Tomorrow I get my review form back, on which my boss has every intention to write something hes yet to show any foundation for, he previously gave me 2 examples where someone who was supposed to be an expert in their field, asked me a question and I knew the answer and in my bosses words "made them feel small" with my response. Well, if its not my field of expertiese and I knew, and they are supposed to be expert, to be honest? Id expect if *anyone* knew the answer they'd probably feel small.. However, I apparently made them feel worse by how I answered.

Thats fine, I can understand, however, hes tried to tell me its more like 5+ people, and a whole department.. Odd. I checked with the department, and they claim they knew nothing of the sort.. so, either my boss is trying to line me up to bug the snot out of me, or, hes right, but wont tell me any examples, which when you're accused of how he put it that "the whole team hates me" .. but somehow cant show any examples or explain anything.. just makes you mad!

Tired, hot, and almost certainly grumpy!

Yesterday I was at work for 13 hours, was I busy? no, no no, and more no.. I had to be there "just in case", we did a test in the afternoon, (or rather they did), which went well, so 5pm came to do the real deal.. (an hour after my normal leave time).. by this time I was hot, hungry, nautious, had a migrane and bordom just so doesnt go well with those feelings.

Come 8.30 when I left, I really felt bad, sadly today dragged, dragged its heals like a child told to clean its room, its nearly 10pm and I feel like I could have fitted a week into today..

I would say I was looking forward to a sleep, but its too hot, it still says 32C on my thermometer!

Race for life

What you can see here is admittedly not her best view, but this is the back of my friend Karin, who today, bravely did the race for life, a charity event for cancer research. As we met while we were both having chemo Im really touched she has put me as half her reason to run/walk. Me? Im far too lazy, I sponsered her to do it for me (!)

Its great to know you have friends like this.

In the news..

So, in the news today was another tsunami. I feel for the people there, it must be like living in hells mouth. Especially with mount merapi being on their doorstep too. Although no reports have confirmed or denied it, the waves must have all but missed the base of the volcanoe! Its only Just outside Jawa.

(The above picture curtosy of google earth, an amazing app)

For porn!!

This is almost kid friendly, although more 11+ I guess, but its funny!!! Its done by getting various shots of world of warcraft toons, with a song. Theres no rude words they wont alreayd know, or nakedness.. However, the subject is vaguely suggestive!

I found it however very funny.. Sorry someone reminded me of it, and well I had to laugh some more

DONT CLICK HERE IF YOU'RE GONNA BE OFFENDED!

rant alert! rant alert!!

OK, whatever your currency.. bear with me. OK..

I wanted to pay 120 euros to a company for some crochet yarn (product not relevant really), the company is in Holland.. Nice company has agreed to let me buy direct, they didnt have to, and 120 inc shipping is pretty good deal IMHO.

So, I phone the bank to find out how to pay them (as they dont normally deal with the public, they dont take paypal/credit cards etc)..

Bank tells me (actually I phoned 3 times got told different info but heres the true cost)..

its 20 pounds to send money to holland..
20 pounds!!!

and it will take..

around 10 days!!!!

um.

I can FLY to holland, me! my whole backside and all, with luggage, for ... 16.99 pounds!!!!

for the love of all that is!! I ask you 20 pounds!!!! for 10 days!!!!

you could knock 2 days off for another 7 pounds..

yeah there are lots of words I could say, but because there maybe children reading, I wont mention them, just say, they are quite rude.

Im sorry, but 120 euros is about 80 pounds. Im after 20kg of yarn, which at 400g a pack is 5 packs per 2kg, so thats.. 50 packs (whoop! and theres 8 balls of string per pack.. can anyone say.. OMG how much string!)

1.60 a pack is really cheap, Im dead happy with that price, but even the over kill of 5 packs, that works out an extra 40p a pack. Thats a 25% price increase just so some boring moron in a bank can type my info in..

I just have visions of my money being turned into an envelope of euros, and flown over first class, it having champagne and a movie on the way..

This saga was made more frustrating by the fact I phoned before leaving to ask the bank what I needed I was told

passport/driving license as proof of ID
my bank card
and the iBAN number to pay into


nope

You need *WAY* more than that.

You need the name of the company, the swift number of their stuff, and the iban, you also need the actual details of your bank account the card wont do, so thats account and sort codes, you also need to fill in some amazing 3 page form where I have to give them (despite already having it) lots of details about me, name, phone number, address..

sigh..

All I can say is, god help the company in Holland if the guys yanking my chain!! I will fly out!! ITS CHEAPER!

Things that bug me about the simpsons opening scenes

1. Homer and Marge both have cars.. they never do in the series
2. Lisa rides a bike home, Bart skateboards home.. every episiode they are made to go by bus with Otto.
3. Lisa's bike has a viola/guitarre/maybe small cello on it.. She plays saxaphone.....
4. The garage implies they go through the door to the living area.. yet as we all know you come in the front door and its on the left..

Im sure theres more.. I know it bugs me each time I see it..

I guess Im just not feeling creative today

Life since friday?

Well.

Saturday:
Saturday was the day I officially got older. Saturday was the day I had enough of everything, and I mean.. *everything*.. if it existed, I was probably mad at it.. The two werent actually related but anything thinking so could be forgiven.

Sunday:
Sunday was a day of slobbing around and doing as little as was achievable. I was successful on this day.

Monday:
Monday saw my boss send me an appraisal form, I have no job description, I have no work to do, because we have a 10 man team for a < 1 man amount of work, and when I started it was just me, and they didnt get more coz I couldnt cope, no, the more was always planned, problem is, they seem to think that there is a lot todo.. yeah "we're busy doing nothing, working the whole day through.. trying to find lots of things not to do.." but my manager has said that we should only comment our the last 6 months worth of work (or lack of).. so.. let me see..

What skills do I feel should be expected for my job.. as I do nothing.. I guess "none"
compare your expected skills list against your actual.. well as Im insanely overqualified.. Im a god (in comparison) .. I of course put nearly all top marks as the descriptions are wooly enough that to be honest you could be a corpse and still rate top.

Finally, what job title do you want next and what time frame.. Well, as no one gets promoted round there.. how can you write anything in that box??

oh well.

Oh, and one of the team is off on hols this week so Im doing his nano seconds worth of work.. the longest part is walking to another building to put some tapes in the safe, and well you can stretch that to a 5 minute absense from your desk if you try...

Tuesday (today)...

Today sees boredom at a high level.. Finally the decision to redo my website. Its not the graphics (or even lack of), its not the content, its not the php behind it to make it useful, its nothing like that.. the bit that gets me each and every stinking time.. and drives me mad

colours

Whatever I do, what ever I look at it just never looks right. Its still the unread rule that there are only 216 colours you should use on your website. Why? well theres 00,33,66,99,AA,CC,FF for each of the 3 combinations. These come out as 216 colours.

My site always looks to me as either bland or garish, theres never something nice in the middle or colours that you try to make subtle when slapped all over a page look really really vomit wrenching. Colours you know that go in reality dont seem to work as websites, or, you get the general colours and cant read it, or, the final pincher.. colour blind people wouldnt be able to use it.

Well. What a freaking rip off.

So, my bank advertises its "Online" presense and how you can do everything and blah.. So I call them up, "Hey, I wanna send €120 to some guys in Holland for some crochet string.. how do I go about it" .. "oh" they say "You need to go to your branch, take proof of ID and they can deal with it there" .. "oh.." I say, "How long will it take for the money to get there "Well, if you pay for the express its 2 working days, and that costs 25 pounds, if you just pay the normal fee of 10 pounds its 6 working days" .. err, so let me get this right, I could pay 20% of the cost to have it there in 2 days, or, 8% to have it take most of 2 weeks.

Is it me? or does that seem a tad steep? considering if the company had paypal I think its like a 1% charge.. Plus, paypal is INSTANT.

Rolling by

So. Time rolls by. (Dont expect a post on saturday)...

I finished that blanket sunday, decided on not doing much of a border, just 1 lap of stitches to hold the edges together. The whole point of that blanket is the coloured squares, not any border or pattern. So, hopefully its all good.

Today, saw me start a new project, another top for me.

I found the company who sell the packs of string Ive been using, and need to find a way of paying 120 euros to a company in Holland who can provide me in return of 20 packs.. (thats some 120 balls of string) which works out pretty darn cheap, as thats like 6 euros a pack, which is around 4.20 pounds.. to make a whole top for me :) (as 8 balls made my top) so, thats pretty cheap if you ask me!

Weather here is so hot and sticky its horrible. Getting up and all the thermostats say 28C .. aint funny. You sweat like a slave in the mines all night.. Its just ikky

Well, its late, Im tired. I had nothing to say (sorry).. Tomorrow is another day (and House finished last week so only Grey's Anatomy on tomorrow..so, more Macgyver!)

More crochet!

The latest project looks ok!
Its not finished, but Ive done the 121 squares, sewn them together, now, just the border to go!

How naive we were.

In series one of Macgyver, they state Pete and Macgyver met or at least did time in Naam, but in series 2 they met when Pete was already in the DXS and doing a job.. And despite a whole recollection of their 7 years of meeting.. Naam suddenly has disapeared.

In series one in Hellfire, MAcGyver goes to help an old friend with his oil pump thing, and theres a girl (playes Kira Nerys) anyway, who it appears Mac would have married if it werent for his friend.. yet in series 2 shes just no one..

We know baddies often reuse their guys in series like this but wow, were we blind to these holes.

More on how macgyver

So.

Not that long ago, I blamed Macgyver for my disapointment with the world. So, in fairness I thought Id explain now how despite Im sure I didnt see most of them, heres some of the things I think he (or the program) has brought into my life (its weird going through the series as I am now, Im on series 2, Im recognising things its not like I remembered but obviously hadnt forgotten, whats even odder is seeing Sulu, Bonnie and Devon(startrek and the last 2 from Knightrider!), in various episodes.)

The show MacGyver was shot when I was 13 to imdb claims 20.. but, Im sorry, I dont remember them maybe I only saw the first couple of series.. (like most kids I didnt see a lot of tv, it wasnt so common to glue yourself to the box every night, either that or it was on when I was doing something else, most likely it was a saturday in which case it would have been my music lessons.. sigh)

So, I dont remember much of macgyver at school but somehow, I know hes responsible, as I explained before.

So, how has it also been positive.

I believe you dont have to use voilence to win (ok not all his influence, but hey, it helped)
I believe theres always hope and a way
I have always carried a penknife almost everywhere..
Make use of what you have around you
Theres always more than 1 way to do something
You can always get round something if you have time and effort and it is worth trying.
There are good people out there.

PS I warn you.. there maybe more crochet entries coming (just nod and say, "well done" or something :P)

To all of you who can..

You may have read my post about me getting the all clear. I have a friend, her name is Karin (hehe if she reads this) and she had non hodgkins, and was in the same time as me. Im a fat lazy cow, she is not. Shes doing a sponsered walk for a help with cancer fund..

Any of you who can help them, it would mean a lot to both of us, and anyone whos ill to come and your money helps find a fix for them too.

Donate a few $ here

I wouldnt normally post stuff like this, but, well in light of my recent news.. how could I not.. and yes, Im sponsoring her!

Yay!!!

Demolition man is on on sunday!!!
I love that film.

HURRAH!

Now, because I started this only this year, despite all the waffle I've laid down, you don't necessarily know a huge amount about me.. Today is a flash back moment for you

In September 1999 I was diagnosed with leukaemia. I was in remission by about October (despite being given slim chances of survival, and lots of rot in that direction), anyway, to make sure I was well they did 3 more lots of chemo, the first lot despite removing the problem didn't actually make me that ill, I didn't lose my hair, etc, but the next 3 made me very ill and bald as a coot.

January 2000 (yeah I was in hospital Christmas and new years.. Oh joy, those are whole nightmares of their own) I was given the last batch, but it was April before I got out!!

After that there were daily, then weekly, then monthly, etc through to finally, yearly, checkups.. Where some nurse would take some blood (I'm needle phobic) and then someone Id never met before would tell me I was fine and book my next appointment.

It sounds so simple doesn't it

Well, its not. You see, I had had none of the warning signs for leukaemia, so I couldn't have known it was coming, so each time they test me, if they didn't like the results the idea would be, they would keep me in, treatment can be as long as 2 years.. Imagine going for a quick stabbing (my term for blood test) and not knowing if you'll see your house and stuff for 2 years.. Maybe even never.. Or, within a few rather long and dull hours you'll be walking out just wishing that they didn't waste those hours of your life.

Over the last couple of months, without official diagnosis mainly because so many doctors in general don't give a monkeys hide, most people I know would classify me as clinically depressed, not just "a bit down" but really fundamentally miserable, work is sucking to a level where a black hole would be jealous. Personal life, such as it is, is also somewhere near an all time low.. Along with those monthly girly things, and a stabbing?? I really can see why people might do it you know?? But I'm a coward it would hurt, that and, my self confidence is also 0, and says, Id stuff it up.

You might now be puzzled as to why this post is entitled "Hurrah"

good :P

so, its 2006, I've been healthy for 6 years now, and a bit, having sat for around 2 hours and the will to live slowly ebbing away as it does when you wait for things like that staring at all the really ill people wishing they'd deal with them and leave you alone.. Finally, it was my turn.

I went to be stabbed, I warned the poor woman (who looked like 200 years old) I wasn't good with needles and once it was in, it would be fine.. Just like do it quick before I run..

So, good on her, she did get it in quick and it didn't hurt (too much)

she put the test-tube on the end, and wouldn't you know just as the blood first squirts in (and usually hits the end of the tube).. It makes a run for it.. Yes, an inanimate test tube pegged it across the room like a torpedo.. I'm beginning to panic now thinking maybe my blood pressure is so high I can do that to it they'll keep me.

Thankfully the second tube didn't do it, and sufficient blood was taken, bandaid applied to the hole and I'm sent, back out to wait.. Like waiting for death.. (it really feels like it, I'm sorry)

Finally, much nearer 3 than the original 12.45 appointment ever should have been, I get the summons to the drs room.

how are you, any issues, blah blah blah..

for the first time in certainly 5, possibly most of 6 my husband had come with.. And for the next bit, I am so glad he was there..

the guy opened his mouth and said, "its been 5 years" .. (5 years is a big thing with cancer).. I grabbed my poor hubby's arm, I swear he'll have bruises to show for it.. "You don't have to come any more if you don't want to"..

Now, half of you wants to open your channel tunnel sized mouth and say "I hate ****ing coming here, I've sworn more times than I can remember Id rather die than go through treatment again, of course I don't want to ****ing come again you muppet" .. But you don't.. They seem to be so unaware of how demoralizing it is to come with this hanging over your head.

I thanked him and told him how happy I am in a good way not that they weren't nice enough people that I wouldn't have to see them again.

My husband would never have believed me if Id come home and said "Hey, they never need to see me again".. He knows how much I hate it, (that's why he was there) but he'd have thought I was faking to never go.

the consultant briefly reminisced as he knew my consultant from when I was treated in London, and I recanted a story that made him smile..

and finally, today, only a few weeks before my birthday.

I got to leave the clinic, free, never having to return.. I am to all intense purposes..

Cured.

Aha! A lifetime revelation!

Many people my age are unhappy, unhappy that life on tv was shoved down their throat and reality couldnt be further from the truth, the films of starting as janitor in a company and being the vice president within a week because "you were good", the girl takes off glasses and shakes out hair and suddenly goes from phat ugly to model.. that and..

Macgyver. He taught us to be resourceful, he taught us good morals, but he also made us believe that people like us would be liked everywhere we go.

No, companies see you as a liability, if you arent the lemming of life then people dont like you, you're different. Being different is not always good. Being individual is, but being different isnt.

Im different, or at least, it seems that way. Ive always done what I knew I could live with, few regrets, explained to people the problems I had, hid little, Im a little of all the things I was brought up on. All those tv programs sadly did sink in. I try not to screw people over, but in turn I dont want to put up with them screwing me either. I try and believe people have a good innner core, that theres always ways, that you can achieve things..

Sadly, I seem to live my life disapointed..

As my hubby presented me with the set of macgyver... Im watching through them and realising, its stuff like this that has made me disapointed as I grew up expecting I could make a difference.

Been quiet..

Last few days have been non eventful, I've been coding a little, but All in all, its just been kinda dul.

A friend got some terrible news Sunday, our new boiler went in Sunday, my dads dog was rushed to the vets Sunday... Since then we are all thankful that nothings happened..

The current crochet project is not going fast, making tiny blocks like that is time consuming and I have no idea how I am going to sew them together at the end

Something to keep you amused (or annoyed)

Ive always loved the amount of effort some people will put into flash games.

I found these today Submachine and Submachine2 all good clean fun and great to keep the mind busy.

Holy cow!

Well, the nice plumber people came to service our boiler, previously we had had an issue with a company who we took a contract out when we had a problem with it, and within a couple of months claimed we had no contract, so we took one out again as we couldnt find our paper proof (it was not long after we moved in, so we would still have had it but finding it could be a challenge) and again a few months later they claimed we didnt.. so it never got serviced after that..

Sadly, our boiler is dead..

This means, no hot water, no heating..

No heating isnt a problem its like 28C out there, but no hot water ?? no washing, no washing up, no baths.. no showers...

Its hoped the new one will arrive to be fitted sunday.

Equality at its finest

Before you groan, no this isn't a gender thing, this is a because its anyone but "me" type thing

We've all had things at one point that weren't fair, if someone else had (not) done something it would have been fine, but it seems because it was you.. It was a problem

I had a couple of days off around the weekend, a total in fact of 2.5, our service levels grant is supposedly 5 days to do pretty much anthing, so, it seems because some servers went live and they weren't checked for all the things they needed (I should say here the servers aren't my problem) and the protocol for keepinging time in sync ntp wasn't working, and I wasn't there to correct a firewall rule they hadn't asked for.. Its me that's been blamed for it all.. Yet the guy who got the firewall rule wrong is allowed to not deal with requests for months, and get them wrong with no repocussions. So, hence I am mad that I've been blamed for having a very short period of time off, in fact my only time off so far this year really and no more planned, but its fine for these same people to remove all admin rights by mistake and generally screw up on a regular basis

Work can sure suck sometimes

Following my wonderful time at the formula one over the weekend the return to work has been knee high in frustration and stupidity..

So glad the week is over half way through already

Poor Button!!!

Wether you watch the F1 or not, this story is sad.

Imagine being a young promising driver, until race 5 or so you had the highest qualifying average, eg, you'd been in the top few for each and every race.

Now you come to your home race. And the race officials pick you for the spotcheck weight test, you're currently in 3rd place for qualifying.. by the time they're done.. qualifying time is over (!) and you're now in P19... right at the back.

Now, today in the race, you move up to P11.. you're on the move, you're doing great... only for your engine to catch alight on lap 9.. and have to retire.. in front of all your fans..

He must be as sick as a parrot.

Whats actually quite cool is knowing where we sat, we can see ourselves on the footage.. Will try and extract a frame with us in !! (You can see us behind poor Button catching on fire)

4am??

grog.. its 4am.. I am I think alive.

I finished!!

I finished the 4 chair back things for my dad

Sadly it seems blogger wont upload pictures (tried 2 different browsers now, and asked them for help to no response.. argh its a known issue apparently.. I just wish the welcome page had an up2date list of it, rather than having to hunt around.)

Somethings are just wrong

Now, as there maybe children watching.. I wont be that graphic.. but.. I hope this guy ROTS I hope that all that is bad and evil infests this guys life from now till he dies, and beyond.. why?

I dont even see how this was biologically possible.. I mean.. Just how could he???

(read the artical that spawned this rant)

Yesterday...

Well, yesterday was my wedding aniversary, went to tell you about it but blogger was having a moment.

Well, Im on vaccation till tuesday now.. Mmm.. the days are filled with opportunities, I'll probably not do much today and monday, but hey.. its my choice!

oh and 3 down 1 to go!

Im now about to start the last of the chair things for my dad!! whee!!

The stock pile forms

OK, I mentioned the curse of ebay.. and that Id bought enough wool to see me to the end of time, and patterns to match.. Well, *HALF* the wool has arrived.... The postman must think Im a freak.. He had to leave it with our neighbours as we were out, but, it was so much, he left the sack.. you dont believe?? heres a pic

A smidge of bling??

I dont know what else to say but see this and look at number 8.....

Day of rest

Ever notice sundays always fly by??

Its midnight oops I get up at 6 .. better make it quick.

Ive ordered more things on ebay, sigh.. Im half way through chair back 3! yay ..

Ive enough crochet patterns to sink a ship :) I found some free sites and saved them all.

The curse of ebay

Ive been quiet I know, why?? Ive been crochetting and unpicking and recrochetting like a demon I swear Id probably be mostly through the 3rd one of the set if it wasnt for the number of mistakes I keep finding that arent like "oh well never mind" status..

So, ebay.. I need to explain here, Im a tight wad with my money, I am the person that picks coins off the street, Im the person who walks around with nothing in their wallet so they cant spend it, Im the person with the savings account and Id rather go without food than take money out of it.. so.

Why do I spend so much time buying on ebay?? I *HATE* shopping, cant stand it, but because I can sit here, and pretty much anything I want I can find.. and buy, and often cheaper than bothering to leave the house.. This week Ive bought enough wool to well keep me going till the end of time at a guess.. If Id ordered a bit more Id need to empty the garage just to store it, its a rediculous amount, Ive bought at a quick guess Im supposing its over 25kg of the stuff.. (thats a lot btw thats like 60, I also bought a few stitch markers, oh and a new set of bathroom taps!! (We always wanted one with a shower thingy attachment)

Ive probably spent over 200 pounds in the last month or so.. sigh..

I need to quit ebay, but I cant, coz everything my heart dreams up is there, at a good price.

F...F...F...F..!!F..F..!!!!

ARGH!!!!

OK, so I unpicked lots of the second item yesterday.. redid most of the unpicking last night, was finishing it off and...

I only had 56 stitches at the beginning not 57 as I swear I counted a billion times..

I had to unpick the lot..

(I am so mad!!)

More on crochet.. (sorry)

Its wierd, since I started this blog I started crochetting, and now its all I seem to blog about, so. I apologise.

Ive completed 1 of those things for my dad, I did about 1/3 of the second to notice Id made a seriously large mistake (forgot to do half the pattern haha) and so had to unpick most of it.. grr.

I got 2 of the crochet books I ordered from amazon:

***SMALL RANT ***

OK, I bought a book called "200 MORE crochet stiches" so, as the title implies you expect 200 stitches, its a darn rip off.. Im almost dreading the 300 crochet stitches (eg vol1) arriving now.. why??

well picture a square of say this

ooxxoo
ooxxoo
xxxxxx
xxxxxx
ooxxoo
ooxxoo

where x and o are different colours, of the same stitch (hence its nameless)

so, according to this book, if x = red and o = black, they've counted showing different colour combos as their 1 of 200 stitches, so if they show 3 combos... thats 3 stitches.. err no, its the same darn one.. and more if they then did

oxoxox
oxoxox
oxoxox

which forms stripes.. they'd have another 3.. all the same actual stitch.. for that..

um

THATS CHEATING, sorry, but thats cheating!! It may have only cost £7.20 but I consider myself taken for a bit of a ride there..

Similarly I also got 200 crochet blocks for blankets, throws and afghans .. they have done exactly the same thing!! Having flipped through Id say around 40-50% are identical stitched squares just in different colour patterns so, plain, lines, squares, triangles... yeah but they are the same square underneath!!! Im almost burning to sell books of crochet patterns now, as well it seems I could make a book called "100 fillet crochet patterns" and only have 20 patterns in if I showed 5 of each one in a different color!! now theres an idea...

Centenial blog..

OK, so, ideally this blog would be profound, insightful or something. But, this is me, Im good at missing an opportune moment.

So, whats happened. Michael Schumacher was declared to have deliberately stopped in a bad place to hold up the others.. me? I dont believe hes that dumb or childish.

With my top finished, Ive started on my next project, 4 things to put on the backs of chairs for my dad.. no idea what they are called. We designed one, and Ive almost finished the first, with 3 more to go after.

Even better, a friend of mine wants me to make a baby blanket for her, its great, I can do useful stuff, stuff I enjoy and I dont have to keep it!! Im really enjoying crochet but I cant picture what being able to keep all the stuff I make, things like I really want to make a nice big bedspread, but, with our 2 dogs its just not ever something you could use, I cant even use my patchwork quilt I made let alone something with holes for dog claws to catch in... and theres only so many jumpers and crocheted tops I think a girl can own

I found myself wishing my gran was alive so I could have made her a bed spread..

Odd fact you never knew about me: I still have the 1 and only pram blanket I had as a kid, its mainly blue, its a mothercare one with elephants on it. :)

Crochet edging!

So, I finished and Ive done 1 round of edging as the pattern says, but I dont want buttons on it, so the edging needed something else. Being the Queen of indecisiveness Im sitting here I must have tired upteen things as edging, I really have, single crochets, doubles, half doubles, kinda shell things, all sorts. Ive decided Im going to do a round of half doubles, and then maybe a layer of shell type things. depending on how it will look I dont want much, the shells may turn into kinda mini loops.

And heres the long awaited picture (stupid blogger was hanging when I tried to upload it)

WOOOHOOOO!!

I finally finished the last sleeve!! I can actually wear my creation now. Its not quite as baggy as I felt it would be from the picture (sigh), but it does look nice, Im not that happy with the seems, joining doesnt seem to be my strong point.

I'll do the border bit, or take a photo real soon. I promise.

Shaken not stired

Well. Thursday is around again. On tv tonight coming up is House and Greys Anatomy which are great. However, I just watched "Bride and Grooming" which basically channel 5 have taken couples about to get married and given them cosmetic surgery and so on.

I related to the woman, she weighs about as much as I do, and had similar issues in that pretty much nearly everything else can be over looked but the apron as they so kindly called it on her stomache forms, well, she was better off than me, but then I dont have quite the same puffyness around the back, so, she wins on one, loses on another.. I felt sorry for her though, while they lypo'd and a tummy tuck total weight loss of a stone (I think thats 14lbs), I know looking at my own body there would be certainly far more scope for improvement, and I think hers too.

However, she at least got hers for free..... I cant afford..

(those with nervous dispositions should stop reading here)

What bugs me is cycling to work, so its not like Im not trying to be fitter here, I can feel my stomache bouncing of my thighs as I cycle.. and its not a racer either.. if it was I wouldnt be able to breathe!!!

How StarTrek changed the world..

A show tonight was how William Shatner change the world. Its curious to look at how much of what was in StarTrek has kinda become true. I object to it being how he changed the world for, he was not the writer, producer or so on.. He was key, but he alone did not make the change. The whole crew of the USS Enterprise did.

Things like the injection things that had no obvious needles, we have those now.
Communicators.. nearly everyone has a mobile phone
MRI scans are much like a large version of tricorders
Computers - our computers are capable of speach recognition, processing and working around what we say as well as mutiple processes, large databases etc.. at the time of StarTrek 1, this just wasnt.

Apparently other wierd stuff they metion and had totally made up such as ionic propulsion.. is actually doable too!

Just a shame that "StarTrek night" has 1 frigging StarTrek show and a lot of waffle pampering to William Shatners unfortunately large ego.

Charmed forever..

So, over the weekend the last ever charmed aired. I got to see it yesterday. Now, I mean Ive watched every charmed there is, Im an avid fan. Why? I guess because like so many I would love to believe there some element of magic for real in life. The fact that charmed shows magic being hidden from people in someways makes it more real!

Series 1-7 had strong endings, even series 7 where it was potentially the end of charmed. At the point of filming the decision to make series 8 hadnt happened, and when it did happen it was a reduced budget, hence the lack of Leo, Darryl etc this year. However. What a flipping lame ending.

Im not going to give the ending away, because I know at least 1 person reading this hasnt seen it. All I can say is its a carebare attitude and seemed to just well break half the meaning and presense Charmed has had. This last series really has centered on Piper, who I feel a better affinity to. Shes not exactly a babe within charmed, shes kinda more average in a way, but that power to freeze?? oh would that be a cool thing. Premenitions.. nice.. ability to summon objects or orb.. nice.. but to freeze??how many times would you love to freeze someone, scream blue murder at them saying probably a number of over exagerations take a couple of deep breaths and then hear what they have to say.. that way you could have the satisfaction of the shouting, without any of the fall out!! (yeah I know personal gain.. bah)

Im sad Charmed is over, it would have been nice to have like the last one as a film length real big spender job.

Top Gear!

The bbc run a series called "top gear" its hillarious. In fact, most comedy programs on tv just arent as funny as this series for petrol heads.

Why is it so funny? Well, Im not sure originally it was meant to be as stupifyingly funny as it is, but a breif run down..

Richard Hammond - hamster - 36, kinda good looking, nutty, and game for a laugh. Kinda short, lots of jokes about him having his teeth whitened last series, most likely not true, but hey, was still funny to wind him up.
James May - Much like that odd uncle everyone has, nothing actually wrong with him, but then, hes just a kinda wet fish.
Jeremey Clarkson - world famous I believe, good laugh, very tall, especially when next to hamster.

They test various new cars well Maydoesnt seem to, just Hammond and Clarkson, they have a cleleb each week who go round the same racetrack in the same kinda family car, and go up on a scoreboard.

They have a "Cool wall" where cars are rated from totally uncool to sub zero.. depending on various criteria (often made up as they go along)

And then theres the challenges come sillys.

One silly was todo with a drag car and an airplane.. Which was finished in the drag racer blowing a caravan away, which was the funniest thing I ever saw..

Often the challenges are like May got a pilots license so had to fly from south of france I think to London, while Clarkson drove.. except of course May couldnt fly over various areas or at night as it turned out.. the races like that are always close.

This week the challenge was to make an anphibious car..

May got a triumph herald (about as old as me)
Hammond got a vm camper van (nick named the damper van..)
Clarkson got a toyota hilux (which they blew up, sunk, in a previous series and was deemed indestructable)

May fitted a huge sail to it but no keel, Clarkson put a very large outboard motor on, and Hammond used the existing engine to power a fan..

Hammonds van had little go, and struggled up hills and ended up being towed by clarkson
May broke his mast on the way, and broke down (as he inevitably does) but finally made it..
(Both May and Hammond
Clarkson had the least issues on the way to the water, having none :)

On entering water, Hammonds fan broke.. and rapidly began to sink. Clarkson leant him a spare outboard but it just helped it find greater depth to sink into
May did well except he floated into weededs before his sail was up, took a while to get going.
Clarksons did well, motor going.. and could do a good speed

Clarkson finally gave hamster a lift, Clarkson and hammond bombed down the water, a little too fast, and the front began to dip, taking on water, he made it to the finish first but in stopping, he rolled it.. his time was over.

Sadly for all, May made it up the ramp, well partly, took him forever, but he won!!! Now theres a turn up

blogging while the data flows.

Well, our lack of data flow continues. Currently some data is seeming to make it in and out, so I thought Id stick my head up and say Hi!

Hubby reckons hes seen 3mbit/s yeah funny how everything Ive seen is running like a dog still - of course his precious news download of tons of stuff we dont need is achiving this great speed, I tried a DSL tester and it said we were getting 534kbit/s so odd how hes getting 3192mbit/s and Im not :P

oh well. Im not dead anyway

8mb

8mb line.. Ok that's bits not bytes, but at the moment m doesn't stand for mega it stands for minutes.. 8 minutes per byte is probably not that far off!!

Yesterdays decision still stands..

I guess it could be hard to explain why the decision I made yesterday makes so much difference, when in fact, Im not sure anyone will even notice.

I was supposed to be the primary support for something. A person who has far less experience (make that no previous) has been it would seem to me, the focal point for everyone bar 4 people, me, them, our boss, and our bosses boss. (and maybe the one above.. that positions had a person change in it, the previous one did, this one.. wouldnt recognise me if I went and slapped him in the face with a pair of used socks).

To me, this means its my duty to ensure that this lesser experienced person doesnt make a mess, to document how everything is to be done, to oversee and be aware of things so that at any given time, I can be professional and fix anything, and warn of impending doom etc.

Sadly this hasnt been the case, with everyone other than the previously mentioned people going to the lesser experienced person, whispering and generally making me feel pushed out and paranoid, Im not aware of whats going on, and I have seem some things the lesser experienced person has done badly or wrong and I now cant fix it until it snaps. On top of that, the anguish in my head to slap the person has been hard in that they are blissfully happy thinking the world is happy, in fact, everyone was except me.

This was hightened by the fact that this other person took credit for some of my work yesterday with the person giving the praise sitting on my desk while it was going on.. and me right next to it all.

My decision therefore was to back off, and let this person have it all. I would be there in case of emergency, the skill wont go away. However, soul responsibility is now on this other persons shoulders, while in my eyes, he seems to clearly not fully understand it, if the management tree arent/werent/cant be prepared to make a decision and either correct those making the assumption that this other person is the only person doing this task and say this other person is doing the task but is secondary to me, please talk to me as well.. Or. I back off and let the way it is be true. I took this option as apparently the option to correct anything is not politically viable within the company right now.. sigh..

I felt much better about myself and my life (although I havent enough work to keep me occupied) until my boss told me this morning that the other key thing Im responsible for is no longer to be implemented in the future within the company. Thus leaving me with like absolutely nothing to do.

So, as you see the only thing really to change is that any crap to hand out is not mine any more,and I should no longer have to worry about not being included, for it is no longer mine.. in reality nothing changes except the most important thing of all. How I feel.

Looking back and forth

OK, looking back, in this I posted about my biorythmn and the fact I think its a load of waffle. Therefore it strikes me as rather frightening to say the least to say that if you look at todays, Ive been feeling terribly low again and oh look, all the bits are at the bottom. Much as Im still saying its waffle, I find that a scary co-incidence.

There are 2 things getting me down. Work and home. Today however, I took a very bold step to release the work issue. My manager understands, and has given me till tomorrow to think about it. Im not changing my mind, if the management cant/wont make a decision, this has done it for them with no impact to anyone really except me, and no I didnt quit!

Looking forward..

Looks like we might be upgrading from a 2mb dsl to 8mb!!!! yay! and it costs a whole 6 pounds a month more! whoohoo! I might even get some download room (Na.. hubby will suck it up) but hey, theres hope.

More looking forward the crochet is going good, once hitting the arm pits, I had to split into 3, Ive done the right front,99% of the left front with the back to go.. then 2 small arms (they're only half length. and.. tada!! sew together and done..

Look out for pictures maybe in a couple of weeks.

Merapi has a paddy!

the bbc have a nice article on Merapi, sadly their site doesnt seem to like being linked to, but they do have some pictures here.

I feel for anyone there, that looks real scary

Some updates

My creditcard was indeed due to the blizzard fiasco.. but for some reason the bank didnt bother to tell me.

another excellent volcanoe link is here - great link IMHO.

OMG!

OK, I posted a bunch of volcanoe webcams right.. you saw that.

So, thursday 11th may 12pm(bare in mind they are 9 hours behind the uk. BOTH Alaskan volcanoes have gone to yellow status, and from the webcam you can more than clearly see the sulfer fumes pooring out!! So that was around an hour after my post..

A direct link to one (best viewed in their daylight hours so from about 8am their time 5pm uk time) is this

So near, so far.

Well the weekend starts 12pm tomorrow.. Its funny how whats 15 hours away can seem so long!

Today was a georgous sunny day, all day, just such a shame I spent it at work. Today Id have done some low down and dirty jobs if it had meant I could have every day like today off.

The cycling to work seems to be getting harder not easier, I must admit I dont get it. The first day the way home seemed mainly downhill as my backside hurt so much I couldnt sit for long and coasted most of it, today, I had to peddle all of it! Stopping I was slowing to a halt.. My bum still hurts, although less Id say, but still hurts whenever I cycle..

I finally think I got to the arm pits of my top! whoohoo!

Oh, some of my fave sites to view

These sites are not funnys (well one is), but mostly this is stuff I find oddly facinating.

• Round the world earthquake monitor
• PuPu volcanoe webcam
• St Helens webcam
• Round the world volcanoe activity
  
• BEZYMIANNY webcam
• Bunch of volcanoe webcams
• GUComics - probably only nice if you play any online games

Me? unhealthy facination of earthquakes and volcanoes?? probably, but then I dont live near any, so its safe :)

Crochet update

I thought it was time for a proper update on crochet. The current work is now about 14" long. (If I havent posted a link to the pattern, its here)

Im trying to decide wether I continue a little more, make the top slightly more flattering to those like me of a larger scale who really need the top to come further down over backsides.

Sigh.. the polava continues

So.. you may remember (how could you not?) my somewhat rant about blizzard and their somewhat rude attitude about how their world wide game is not for anyone outside america, or some such judgement.

Well.. now my bank has retaliated I think. Since the blizzard incident when I tried repeatedly to get them to take the card, my credit card has disapeared from my banks online system.. Their system deserves a rant in its own right, however, in this case, my credit card has disapeared from the view, it used to appear on my statements, and well now its not.. If I try and add it, it claims its already in use.

So, I thought it might just be some bad electron day or something, so, I tried again today, still no joy.. So, I phone the online banking support crew.. Having felt I almost needed to explain that I used a "computer" to view my stuff, I had to provide various athentification stuff, this is fine, but, she took my credit card details and had full access to pretty much everything the bank knows about me..

She had to call back for my account number, as she closed the screen too early..

sigh

and of course she hasnt been able to fix it, shes had to pass it on to someone whos obviously got a computer and knows what that is.

sigh..

What ever happened to..

I remember way way back, when dos was young and programs ran.. only what you told them and when, and while viruses and the like existed, you kinda knew you had one, coz well with 640k being "mega" nothing much got in there without some knock on effect.

Now, today, Im running etrust av, windows defender and spybot.. the first 2 claim to "stop" anything from infecting me, so, and believe me I check my settings, but today, firefox (which is good against most stupid things) successfully downloaded without my permission and further more RAN the downloaded exe which then blocked everything.. and I mean everything, cant dir c:\ coz "log on privilages disabled" blah blah blah.

So, I ran a check with the av (as a different user who could still login thank goodness)..

Nothing

So, I ran windows defender check...

nothing..

ran spy bot, found sometrackers, a couple of exes that werent in memory, but.. hey..

anyway, my pc is back with me, so something it found must have been it.. but.. Just how many of these types of "keep me safe" products are you realistically needing to run to stop most of these things when nothing at all seems to actually stop it happening in the first place, only try and clean up afterwards.. grr