Recent quietness

I apologise for the recent queitness, following the karate thing, where my black belt dream was shot to shreds, I went on to qualify as an instructor instead, which then lead to more issues in that, while I qualified I only wanted to be an assistant. Not because Im scared of the responsibility, but, because I believe "Sensei" should be a really all knowing individual, not someone who frankly could be a lot better. This caused me much stress, because as it turns out despite the talk of how B&W belted people get this, that and the other.. Only if you run your own class - this wasnt made clear, and while I didnt do it for the freebees or whatever, it was then the fact it was only me who didnt count.. This made me sad and frustrated.

So now I have a class of children who would be a great advert for lack of attention

I also then pretty much the same day lost my temper and came to the end of my tollerance with my husband (hence the blog name change) and locked him out - after checking I could legally do so. I had had enough.. Then, when he didnt come collect stuff in the allotted timescale, I packed stuff only to find out things between us were worse than I thought, I found paper proving his lies had been greater than I had even given him credit for, and that I was deffinately doing the right thing.

Also around this time work gave me notice that they felt I was a useless employee and I had 90 days to prove otherwise.

So, where am I today.

Im about 45 days through the work thing, they are still convinced Im useless, depsite the fact Im trying, and despite the fact that someone else is telling people not to help me..

Karate, I graded the day before I through hubby out, and it was a hard grading too, but, Im actually pushing to grade to my next belt asap, so I can help 2 of my best friends towards their next belt and to do so, I feel I need to be allowed to use the same tools they do. (sweeping, spinning kicks and of course, learn their kata)

Husband? Well, hes not going to contest divorce and hes agreed to be reasonable about the whole splitting of stuff - so, it looks like a blood bath is averted, but, its still a very downward feeling. Even though its what I want, Im kinda a bit at an end..

My choices seem small, Im fed up with job, Im fed up with so much and few things I can choose sound better. Seriously, Id go shelf stacking if I thought I could live from it, just to get away from the crap at work, but its not what Id enjoy, I know, but, I need to do something or somewhere else..

Im sure a number of you (small number that you are) will have found me on facebook.. I tend to do a more daily thing there, but in less detail because well, while this isnt truly "anonymous" its less linkable to me, and sometimes while I want to part with things like this post, I dont really want everyone to know me if they stumbled on it, or like facebook there are friends who I wouldnt want to see some posts..

You arent forgotten.

Falling for the gimic!

Ever watched tv and had that want to buy something, yet you know in your heart either

a) its too good to be true for the price
b) you wont use it as much as your brain is telling you it will
c) you cant really afford it

Well.

Things like bread makers and so on tend to fall into this category, simply because you dont *NEED* one, but, somehow you want one.. For the bread maker its that pour a bunch of stuff in a container, pick a number, hit go, come back in a couple of hours to a great hot nice loaf, you didnt spend ages kneeding or stretching, or moving around, sitting in some spot waiting for it to rise.. you just fed it, and get to eat it a while later..

Here it seems we see more darn cooking programs than you can imagine, if its not new ones, its repeats, theres currently at least 4 cooking programs on a day on just the 5 terrestrial channels, let alone additional freeview/satellite channels.. seriously you could actually just watch cooking programs all day..

One thing they have been harping on about for a while now all these programs is

making your own pasta

So.. I got me a pasta maker, from amazon.
I need to stress just how much I *HATE* city link who are a useless waste of space, a delivery company who it can only be termed "lie" to you, who only deliver during working hours (funny, how do you think we afford the stuff we ordered??) who try twice, or rather claim to try twice, and then demand that you PAY for them to come again.. But in this weeks incident, having told them to leave it with neighbours, didnt bother, so I had to go collect, I phoned to check it was there, was assured it was, spent best part of 45+ minutes in the car getting there.. to be told.. "Oh hes broken down and is ".. about half mile from my house.. but. noooooo, couldnt drive back and meet the guy noooooo.. So, it hadnt been there when I called to check, I had spent 45 minutes+ in my car to be told it wasnt there.. Not a happy bunny

So, I refused to leave without it.

They obviously sensed trouble :P funny that.

anyway, just as one of the drivers had taken pitty on me and was going to get them to redeliver free of charge, and get the guy to ring my mobile so I could go home and collect it and all that.. mr "I broke down" arrived ..

I had left home about 4.45, I got back home... 7.30

it was too late to start with the idea of making pasta.. so it got put off

I made it tonight

Much like the others who mentioned on amazon that they had issues clamping the device down, I did too, because my kitchen top hasnt enough of a lip to clamp things to, but, to be frank you can hold the machine with one hand and turn the handle with the other..



This was the pasta before I cooked it. I did fear the first lot would look bad, especially as I hadnt exactly got lovely straight sheets (like lasagne sheets) prior to putting through the cutters to turn to strips, but.

I think that turned out pretty good!

The decisions ripple..

Its amazing how one small decision can ripple.

When the new year hit, I made myself a resolution of being a black belt by the time I was 40, only to be shot down the first karate sunday when they announced they were closing that class.. Straight after lots of plans had been made on how I would achieve this with sensei.

So, to plan B.

At this point my plans of grading to red belt this weekend, still seemed very likely.

Plan B - a slightly grey affair for you guys as Im not sharing details, but well, the first class didnt go very well IMHO. In fact, I hated it, a lot. I wasnt alone in my unhappyness either. But, with sunday only a few days away, I havent been assessed, so Im not grading, but Im also not down to be assessed. Im very disapointed, this means waiting yet another month minimum, by which time Plan B may have completed, meaning it could then be even more months before Red belt.

Im very very annoyed.

Over the last few weeks..

Time has run away with me, a lot. I mean, seriously a lot, it feels like last week was March..

Each week passes so fast I just dont know where they go, I have a report to produce thursdays, and so many times I realise thursday has been and gone and I missed it. Im not sure where the time goes either, I go to karate monday and friday and there sure doesnt seem to be any days in between.

Things Ive seen in the last few weeks Id buy if I won the euro lottery:

Canon 5d mk 2
http://www.canon.co.uk/About_Us/News/Consumer_Releases/2008_News/EOS.asp

HP touch screen PC
http://www.hp.com/united-states/campaigns/touchsmart/
( I played with one of these in a store and its so not touch screen of old its very like http://cs.nyu.edu/~jhan/ )

Other things high on my list:

A slightly larger house, with more land, so theres far more room for the pups to run around, and preferably I mean enough that I cant throw beyond the fence on any direction.

A new car, a good car, economic but fun, but suitable for dogs, so probably a new 4 wheel drive of some form, or something small with a huge boot, and a lot of character - but they dont seem to make those any more.

TLC amore yarn (by the truck load)
http://store.knitting-warehouse.com/yarn-coats-amore.html
(why? this stuff is so soft, its like working with a line spun from clouds)

Solid gold/platinum flute
- no specific link but man would I love one

In a similar vein to the above, Id also like a harp, cello, clarinet and maybe an oboe..

More dogs? well by this point Id have more room right?

Frustrating week..

Sorry for not posting for ages, a while ago I took up a volenteer role at:

You can get a lot of website there for free, which is never a bad deal, and as a result, I do spend a fair bit of time as a Senior Account Manager helping people who've messed their accounts, etc

The last 7 days go like this:

Last friday..

I went to karate, was really trying hard as it was grading sunday, and while Im sensitive to grading its not an issue about me not grading that hurts its the seeing others who graded who IMHO shouldnt have, eg, they are now a belt higher than me, and act like someone whos worse than me. Its that that upsets me..

So I worked my socks off..

End of the lesson came, sensei gave grading permission slips to people who hadnt met the requirements, were a few lessons short..

My turn came..

You've plenty of lessons, you'd pass if I put you forward, but, Im not going to... What a slap in the face, dont get me wrong, I know there are things I can improve on (heck if I listed them here you'd fall asleep) but, at the same time, Im not going for a black belt, far from it, in terms of time, Im not even half way to a black belt, again the problem is looking at those of the same colour I would be, Im no worse than them. However, begrudgingly I accept that my sensei does it for a reason, and so went to the store to buy a big bar of white choccie to get over it.. and set off home..

On the way, I passed some people in a group and thought "Hey their dog looks like Maddie!" and drove home..

Got home, "Woof Woof Woof!" opened the door, 2 dogs.. Hmm.. Maddie?? Maddie!!??

After scouring the house and garden .. We were a dog short...

Went back to get dog from the people I had passed in the street... Oh the shame of it!!!

So..

Sunday comes, the day of the grading, I decide to sit in the garden for a bit, to chill, and mope about the fact people were now grading and now Id find more people who have a higher belt than me and would make me feel down..

Was playing with Maddie.. Whos not very good at the whole "give" thing.. so, put my finger in (as you have to) to extract the tennis ball thing.. and *chomp* "OW OW OW" .. grabbed finger, blood drips out of the clenched fist around it.. eep.. thats bad..

Thankfully it just blead a lot.. it was a small puncture wound and a 1cm split.. darn that hurt.. see? If I had graded my finger wouldnt hurt now..

Im getting greif at work, my "day job" part takes longer than I want it to, but someone who wants me to do some additional parts is getting rather upset I havent done and finished things they want, I dont see how Im supposed to fit all this in, everything they give me is always "top priority" and I should to it "Now" .. but there are only so many things that you *can* do now....

Been a bit quiet

Yeah Im sorry, been quiet the last couple of weeks..

Lots in mind mind and time flying away quicker than I can explain..

I havent forgotten.. I promise!!!
(Write and tell me Im not talking to myself!)

Cheaky Skype!!

Heres something you may not know about skype.

In skype you have the option to customise how it connects to skype servers/other people. Did you know, only uses that *IF* you make it..

Yes you read that right. If you specified a https proxy, or socks proxy, theres almost a dead cert it isnt using it, unless, it couldnt contact the world any other way. Thus, if you maybe trying to hide a little from your network admin or just other peoples prying eyes, you maybe sadly mislead!

How to tell what skype is doing:

1. Start->run->cmd
2. netstat -ab
(this will show you ports by program with the program in [xxx.exe] underneath the ports.

Now if you dont see skype connecting to your proxy like you set, that means it successfully made it out irrelevant of your settings.

If you want to force it, Skype themselves had this to say:

"It is normal for Skype to try and establish a direct connection to the P2P network. Skype will use proxy connection method only if direct connection methods fail. When the firewall allows only proxy connections, Skype will use that, but when the firewall is less restrictive, Skype will most probably try and connect directly to the network. This is default behavior.

To force Skype using a proxy connection in your situation you can try to set it via GPO (Windows Global Policy). Skype supports GPO settings.
More information can be found by reading the Network Administrators Guide. You can get it here: http://www.skype.com/security/guide-for-network-admins.pdf"

I tried the GPO.. Oddly, it didnt seem to make any difference! As in fact the doc describes how to set the GPO to have direct access not to block it.

In the end, I resorted to zone alarm. After I had logged my question to skpe it seemed the documentation which originally said it used your IE settings - which also clearly wasnt true as mine had been set to the proxy too, but, it is a thing to be aware of.. Just coz you said how to connect, doesnt mean it actually is!

WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!!!

We were so cross when the forumla one tickets came up for sale this year, last few years we bought them the day they were announced which is almost like 11 months before the event, this year the seats we've come to know and love, ok, we pay 165 pounds thats best part of 340 dollars EACH, for standing on some concrete, laugh all you like.. Its my birthday present, and its the best 3 days, I get as sunburnt to a crisp which provides all the people at work a serious laugh, as first year I really really really probably should have been hospitalised!! (We didnt have suncream!)

This year, tickets came and it was grandstand only which are 265 pounds each, so thats err, what near on 580? dollars each?? yeah, love F1 tons, but thats stupid money for a seriously uncomfortable plastic seat.

So, hubby wrote and asked and was told basically they doubted wether they would sell our normal tickets, you could have on the day tickets but no real info on where you could go, in fact it sounded more like you could get in the track but you'd be lucky to be able to see any cars..

So, having been talking about the disapointment with hubby over tea tonight, while sewing some ends in my blanket, I decided to check the site.. and there, you guessed it, TICKETS!! our normal tickets were available (they werent yesterday which was at the discounted price sigh) so, we have bought our tickets..

YAY!!!

Time to book the days off work :P

Couldnt be happier

So, heres to hoping Jenson Button has better luck this year, would be a seriously cool birthday present to see him win at Silverstone!

All gone green..

So, after many months of swear, tears and a couple of bits of blood..

I finally got my green belt yesterday, I get the impression the regional guy was not happy to do it, but, kinda didnt have any real reason he could give to stop me. So, finally, my green belt.. RAR! I worked my feet off, I lost blood and feeling in one foot and had extreeme pain in the other.. I sweated like a man in a forge.. it was not a great grading I felt terrible, I was tired, drawn out and there were only 14 of us, not the 100+ that there had been at my last grading, so, I felt rather on show..

My friend who made the orangey/pink and red blanket for? got her blanket today in the post, and is dead happy, which is excellent news..

Its my mothers 61st birthday (assuming shes still alive somewhere)

My Dad phoned he has a new furry friend..



As you can see, shes a big ball of black fluffy fur, shes 11 months old, and called Rosie! Currently weighing in at a monsterous 33kg, so, shes only going to get bigger!!!

The christmas break

Fortunately for me, my christmas vacation starts early this year, in fact it started this morning.

Unfortunately with all thats going on at work somehow having a long vacation doesnt seem like the right thing to do, but at the same time we had to take all the time off or lose it.. so.. It had to be done. I just fear the monumental mess that will wait for me for when I return.

Im sure my name will be muck for something..

anyway, today Charlie went for a swim again, hes doing so well, being off next week hes going to be a lucky fluff and I'll pay the 37 pounds for him to swim twice! He thoroughly loves it, and it has to be said you almost want to take him every day because its such good exercise, but also, at the same time at 18.50 a go, theres no way I could afford that. It also seems that winter and wet dogs is probably not such a hot mix, so, going too much he'd probably get a chill.

Ever noticed how much you hate the huge number of Ads around christmas? Here in the UK the ads seem to be either.. purfume, dolls in the shape of babys who do one of the more of puke, cry, move, wet themselves, poop themsevles or have "owwies" that you can make better.. But then the one time you see an ad you actually might want to take a further look into by the time you thought you'd actually not mind seeing it again to find out who made it or something.. do you ever see it again??? no.

sigh..

It really feels like christmas is just round the corner.

Been a while...

Its been a while huh...

Well what have I been up to? Not a lot, why? well Im overdue for my green belt by a substantial amount, I had done sufficient to qualify 3 months back now, and arguably could have had it then, but no, the regional manager wont let me grade so now Im 3 months behind others I train with and Im reassured its not because Im not good enough, which is just spit in my eye really. Oh, and the guy holding me back said he would grade me end of this month, well thats like next week, so, does 2 whole weeks *really* make that much of a difference? I doubt it.

Ive crochetted loads - I finished the blanket for my friends wife, see below (the copyright liz is deliberate)

Im now working on a new blanket for an equally german friend its pattern looks like this:

I started at the bottom of the picture, and Ive just started his head, so, Im just about half way.

Ive had a lot of headaches over the last month, partly stress, hence Ive been a bit quiet, headaches leave me very drained, that and its winter, and Im never enthusiastic over winter..

Charlie has been having swimming lessons - hes doing really well. Its great to see him have so much fun and have totally weighless exercise which is so good for him. The bone crunching lady has let him off crunches till the new year, the vets pleased enough Charlie can have odd little short walks on the lead again, and the swimming people are pleased at how well his swimming and confidence are doing.

Hes a good boy.

Theres also been some trouble brewing at work, it seems with the uncertainty of how jobs are going a few members of staff are making most of the opportunity to shine at other collegues expense, not necessarily mine I should say, but, various examples of withholding info, and trying to blame others where it could not be their mistake seems to be growing. The latter does apply to me, I had a week off, someone did something while I was off, it was wrong, a huge crap-o-gram was sent, to me I should point out from the effected people, and I apologised but apparently the person who made the mistake is mad at me.. I guess coz I hadnt stopped them? despite my absense? The mind boggles.

Well, I only have 4 more days of work this year (bar being on call), each day is hard to be got down too much now because in a few days I can rest almost till the new year, being on call shouldnt be bad as we have a prime response person who should get all the calls and only if important pass them on, this is a good thing. Otherwise there are various areas who wouldnt fake importance, but would make out the importance is far greater than it is.. eg, they cant print something, their collegue could do it, but, no no, its a life threatening priority 1 that *they* cant.. you know the kind of thing.

Well, we'll see how the rest of the week goes.

Photos

You may recall comments on photos.. So, heres some:





In fact, I will be posting my photos in general on Zooomr its a great site, and like so many good things, its free, or you can choose to pay such as I have.

James Marsters (aka Spike from buffy)

I have to say this.

OMG HES 45!!!!! He so dont look it.

More photos...

So.. the photos continue..

Saturday saw Charlie and the revenge of the pink flower.

Today saw me back up the hill but the other side.




Theres plenty more :P

A bit long winded.. but.

So, after going on holiday, and cursing my camera for its pathetic battery life.. I took the decision to get a new one.

For most people this would be a simple task. Price vs use is usually a good decision point, features, too..

I ended up with an odd decision.

A canon EOS 400D or, a Fuji FinePix S9600.

The later is a newer version of what I had, the EOS is really semi professional...

For every good point a camera had, it had a down point, and both ended up in my eyes, equally balanced..

Having had a great holiday but returning with few usable pictures, I was determind to get the new one soon. I researched, and read, and bored the living snot out of everyone I spoke to.. (They must be so relieved today)..

The sweetest, kindest man, one of whom listened to my tale of turmoil over the cameras, turned out to be a camera man too.. He had in fact only very recently bought himself a new camera.. A Canon EOS 400D.. This amazing person turned round and offered to let me borrow his for 5 days, in fact till next monday if I wanted.

I got home, I played. A lot of what I produced was blurry.. (Ive since found out why.. I had asked it to create the greatest depth of field, pretty much at all cost, as a result it often picked the background as its starting point, or, the shutter speed was so slow anything including wind, made something move, or I breathed etc.)

But, my decision became clear, it had the most potential.

So, I ordered it on the "GIVE ME IT NOW" option on amazon - not the cheapest, but arguably more reputable than a number of Ebay sellers.. and the tomorrow option even if it was 5.30pm seemed good.

Today came, the call arrived.. It had come.. My kind hubby placed it on charge so when I got to it I could play..

As if in celebration, the sun came out.. I attach 2 photos I took today. I have shrunk them, but in no other way did I alter the picture.



Oh, Ive taken 70 photos so far, so with flash some without, and the battery hasnt even shown signs of not being full yet.. My last camera was doing about 8.....

Back home

Its hard to believe this photo was only taken a couple of days ago, when I sat in a chair in that very garden with the sea wooshing not that far away, for now I am home..

To finish our holiday we had a curry as a take out.. The order came, I thought it was a bit cheap till I realised when it got here, I hadnt actually ordered my food... only the side stuff to go with.. Sigh..

It was a long journey, Charlie enjoyed a swim in the sea, although was a bit scared when waves lifted him up, but fun was had by all (Id like to remind all dogs not to stamp, or grind on their owners paws when at the beach its exceedingly annoying).

We had lovely local fish and local made pasties, lots of sleep and no computers. It was great, exactly what we wanted. I spent more than I expected but I dont begrudge any of it.

Now, back to the rat race.. How disapointing.

On holiday!

Well its lunchtime Thursday, and the holiday is going well, I guess there was an element of disappointment in that the "beach" that was supposed to be 100m from the house is not a beach by anyones standard really, the sea is there but a concrete ramp and a couple of rocks isn't really a beach IMHO



Its nice though to sit on the bench against the front of the house wall and listen to the sea, or at night look up and see a ton of bats, and the night sky in such clarity its so impressive!! You clearly see the multitude of stars and the almost cloud the distant ones form, so much so you can actually find it hard to see the main constalstions because there are just so many stars there and none seem dim so to pick out brighter ones seems impossible!



Today, I sit outside the national seal sanctuary, while hubby goes in, there is a lot of walking to do in there and in a way, not a huge amount to see, well there is a lot to see and make you smile, but the predominant memory is of the walking.



I got some ok photos, but, all the ones of the otters they were moving far too fast, silly things, very active!



I hadn't reallised just how big some seals are.. One they had weighs 350kg!!! Holy fish Batman, that's a big seal, even so, he still looks very cute.



We found a beach for Charlie to play on, mainly sand and this afternoon the plan after getting some food is to go back and Charlie is going to go in and get very wet.

Something fun!

So, I thought Id wave this at you - I have the drawing talent of a dead blind squashed worm.. yes, in fact that poor worm would do better than me. However, I found mandala painter it can create far better things than I can show you. But heres somethng Ive made that doesnt look too much like something died...




Oh and in case you're thinking "well she can draw really shes just being modest" .. no.. no no, believe me no.. I draw stick men and people ask me what they are.. Have a go! Oh and its written in delphi, like it could be any other way!

Updates

So.. A few updates:

Charlie is doing well. The pasta is keeping him off his paw as much as could be helped. The incision has healed over nicely, not that hes proud of scars etc.. but you can barely see it..

Brown has hurt her paw now in sympathy! Not entirely sure what shes done, but my bet is on she got her paw under the wheels of my computer chair as I moved at some point - seeing as she loves being there.. and I do try hard not to run her over.

Me? Ive just done my back in.. or tweaked it violently

Its superly sunny out there and once again..
IM IN HERE!!!!!

The blankets for the vets are coming on, Im trying to do the 45" one, but if I dont make it it could be one of the 27" ones needed.. However, the 45 is a good one to do as it is the biggest. So Ive been on the prowl for cheap wool.. At paying around 2 pounds per 100g ball.. and the littlest which was 15x28 took about 1.5 balls.... so, working on that you can imagine the 45 is likely to take 4.5 etc.. its going to work out expensive..

So someone pointed me in the direction of a thing called freecycle, however, they wouldnt let me post my post which read:

Ive taken on a task of replacing blankets lost by vets due to flooding, and would like any wool or yarn to make a torrent of blankets for the vets. If anyone knows of vets who lost some due to flooding, Id be happy to add them to my list.

Im hand crochetting blankets so its not a hugely fast process, but, at the same time, Ive done 3 so far..

Im sure furry animals wont complain about colour, however it should be fairly non fluffy or bobbly..

It was rejected because I havent posted an offer first.. Um, its both.. Considering the floods have been estimated to have cost the area over 500mil in damages, and Im asking to help provide, so its not like I even want it for me.. I feel thats pretty crap considering the purpose of the list, eg to recycle and make better use of stuff.. and its not like Im asking for anything expensive.. people on the list have posted microwaves, wardobes and generally stuff you can sell for good money on ebay...

Irony

Stupid as it sounds, its ironic. We are flooded to the gills (not our house specifically but as an area) and ... we're out of drinking water, and in fact, any kind of water.. our taps are dry....

Predictions are it could be upto 2 weeks before water is restored!!!