And christmas cheer disapears with a pop!

After karate on monday I went home and somehow had a fear in my stomache. Tuesday was to be the last senior lesson, my supposed grading day, and I just knew deep in my heart it wasnt going to happen..

To condense the story to a short blog paragraph, Ive been promised each month of oct, nov and dec that I would grade by the end of the month... he (the trainer for senior class)"forgot" for the first two, and in part I cant help but think he forgot this month too, but decided that he would say things that contradicted the last 3 months of what he'd said, and well, my expectation (as it wasnt a hope it was promised) of a green belt for christmas, has not come. More to the point, as a result of his actions I dont believe I can grade again in this region, because he is the guy who makes those decisions and I cannot bring myself - certainly for now - to respect anyone who lies to my face and calls me a liar while doing it.

This also makes me sad as I have tried my little guts out this year, and this 1 person has spoilt all the effort Ive put in, because I believed him when he was telling me I was a blue belt level, and to be told that Im not even green, despite no corrections, and yet somehow over 3 weeks off I'll suddenly be green belt level just makes no sense.

This will play on my mind a lot - I dont normally dwell on things like this, but 6 months worth of effort feels like it was down the pan, and that doesnt sit too well right now.