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Finally after descovering my IP got banned from an online sudoku site apparently for scripts, they finally released it (some what 2 weeks?)
Took the dogs out, went down the pub
Looking forward to no work tomorrow -shame its a bank holiday, but hey, no work tomorrow!!!
You may have heard that cockroaches would survive pretty much anything.. A few years back Jeremy Clarkson ( A rather tall kind weird guy who talks a lot about cars ) proved that pizza was more heat repellant than the special tiles from the space shuttle..
Well.. Id like to add sweetcorn...
Why is it that sweetcorn always seem to go straight through??
So, you're a policeman, in an unmarked police car, with no blues going. You open up and find yourself doing 158mph, and get caught.
What happens?
Well if you get caught as a normal person doing >100 you are almost certainly facing a ban from driving, you certainly get a lot of points and after 11 points you're out. You're banned from driving for a while.
So..
What did he get?
He got a few points and the judge felt the court proceedings were enough of a punishment..
EXCUSE ME???
This is so messed up.
A number of people who know me already know my mother walked out on the family in a less than gracefull manner. They also know as a result of this Im glad she is said to live far from me, as theres no chance I run into her..
Problem is, there have been times when Ive felt that I miss the person who should be there. This was especially true when I got married, lots of things mothers would be therefore, of course, she wasnt, heck she wasnt there for me when I was ill, why would she care for me being married? However, there have been odd moments when Ive felt sad at her loss from our family. One was a film where the kid wouldnt ever see his mother again.. and it dawned on me I wouldnt be seeing mine.. Tonight is another.
Im sitting here with my crochet blanket growing quite nicely, but I looked at it and it dawned on me how she would be so happy at how well I was doing, parents are good at that, my Dad still is, but they are (probably out of habbit Im sure) proud of things you do, they keep the terrible things you make that 2 days further on you cant even remember what it was its so deformed.. because you made it.
I dont know what bothers me, the fact shes not around, or the fact shes still in my head.
I had days when I feel very alone, days when 2 dogs, a husband, people at work, my friends, just all seem too far away somehow. I feel very distant from all the things I want to be near, even the hugs seem empty somehow.
I guess not aided by many of the people Id consider good friends, Ive never met. I love them dearly, Id do everything I could to make them happy, and them me, but, nothing beats that feeling of being hugged and it making you feel secure and warm and loved right to the middle
Im taking next week off work. I have to be "on call" for tuesday as someone else in a similar line is off, but to be honest, small price to pay even if I have to go in for a bit (long as they dont expect me at 7.30!)
Ive been feeling really run down, fedup, hassled, frustrated, angry, bitter and so much more. Hopefully a week off will sort me out.
A friend sent me this.
All I will say is Im floored by 1, Im not telling you which. I got 2 wrong, out of those 2 1 really really is impressive
Well, Ronan Keating (an irish singer) sang a song called "You say it best, when you say nothing at all"
My friend Chris asked if I was slacking. Im not, honest. I just fear for what I want to say, everything I want to say at the moment seems to be one of
1. Bitter
2. Spiteful
3. About work or work related topics which no doubt would be potentially offensive to anyone it referred to (even if deserved perhaps)
4. Likely to get me into trouble
5. Probably best left in my head only.
So, there you have it, many of the things I want to say do indeed fall into one or more of those categories, Im tired, running out of patience, bored out of my tiny mind at work and feeling some what bitter to some people who have arrived since my joining and are "too busy" to do the things they were given that are my job, and Im sitting there counting pixels and sceiling tiles, I just wish I had the money to work part time, or , for a company who possibly cant pay much but at least who would listen to my suggestions..
I got told in my appraisal that I was the best person for giving suggestions, and then about 10seconds later was told that I was quick to say somethings wouldnt work but with no solutions.. Im still trying to think of 1 suggestion Ive had feedback on in the 18 months.. so.. Hey boss, if you're reading this (you can never be sure after all)..
I NEED THE DARN FEEDBACK IM FED UP, I'LL GIVE YOU SOME MORE SUGGESTIONS IF YOU EVEN COMMENT ON THE ONES I'VE ALREADY SUGGESTED, THERE MUST BE CLOSE TO OVER 200 IN THAT LIST SO FAR.
There. That was about the only thing I can say thats harmless. But, so much of it is probably feelings and thoughts in my head that maybe shouldnt be there, or arent true, but sure do currently hurt and make me mad..
Something someone said today really really angered me, and I cant overly explain but, this person was given a job to do that I had previously been doing, something I truely love. Anyway, this person was too busy to do something and we missed a great opportunity.. today, they commented on that I never seemed to be lagging behind and they envied it.. so, as it was late, and Im tired and feeling somewhat less patient than even than normal, I pointed out I had no work todo, I have basically 1 spreadsheet to make in the next 4 weeks and I could probably do it in 20 minutes if I really wanted. They asked why I didnt then try and do this thing we missed out on.. ERR.. coz the whole offers withdrawn, its not possible, they didnt do what they were supposed to and we missed it! They really didnt understand .. and its just so agravating because they are seen (now) as the lead person in this subject..
ARGH
Dont do it
For all your sanity, such as it is
DONT DO IT
I bought me a Scaleo P..
1st mistake - not noticing it comes with a 32bit OS when its a 64 bit computer.
2nd mistake - not taking it back when spotting 1st.
why?
Well
Having traulled the net downloading the ATI 64 bit drivers, nforce drivers (as ASUS says the card is an nForce and it aint), installing pretty much any 64bit driver that could have worked..
and got somewhere, so sound may be working (no speakers attached to prove it), graphics now working ok, one small issue.
NO FLIPPING NETWORK CARD
the onboard and the compaq cards we had floating around all claimed "No network driver needed"..
yeah well windows 64 dont have drivers for them so it is!!!
sigh
Finally I after more random installings.. the "fujitsu-seamens internal something blah" works with the compaq...
So it only took me most of 2 days to get a "working network card" how lame is that.
I have bought me a fujitsu-seamens "Scaleo P" machine, its 64 bit.. (yeah not that it came with anything 64 bit!)
So, I put my XP 64 on it, and graphics, audio etc
Except
Cant find a network card driver that works - MB claims its an A8NE-FM
Meaning so far its pretty much an elaborately new door stop, no network? bah
For tea I was chopping an onion with a food slicer one of those V shape violently sharp things.. I confess without the guard, why? well getting started is often a problem so I got it going and all was well it looked like an inch left and it was set to 0.75mm slices.. only obviously it was a slight illusion with the root and well slice "oops" .. its more like 2mm slices and there was a rather impressive lump of the end of my finger ..
It didnt bleed that much but now I have a rather flat spot on my finger.. I am such a moron
