Something fun!

So, I thought Id wave this at you - I have the drawing talent of a dead blind squashed worm.. yes, in fact that poor worm would do better than me. However, I found mandala painter it can create far better things than I can show you. But heres somethng Ive made that doesnt look too much like something died...




Oh and in case you're thinking "well she can draw really shes just being modest" .. no.. no no, believe me no.. I draw stick men and people ask me what they are.. Have a go! Oh and its written in delphi, like it could be any other way!

Updates

So.. A few updates:

Charlie is doing well. The pasta is keeping him off his paw as much as could be helped. The incision has healed over nicely, not that hes proud of scars etc.. but you can barely see it..

Brown has hurt her paw now in sympathy! Not entirely sure what shes done, but my bet is on she got her paw under the wheels of my computer chair as I moved at some point - seeing as she loves being there.. and I do try hard not to run her over.

Me? Ive just done my back in.. or tweaked it violently

Its superly sunny out there and once again..
IM IN HERE!!!!!

The blankets for the vets are coming on, Im trying to do the 45" one, but if I dont make it it could be one of the 27" ones needed.. However, the 45 is a good one to do as it is the biggest. So Ive been on the prowl for cheap wool.. At paying around 2 pounds per 100g ball.. and the littlest which was 15x28 took about 1.5 balls.... so, working on that you can imagine the 45 is likely to take 4.5 etc.. its going to work out expensive..

So someone pointed me in the direction of a thing called freecycle, however, they wouldnt let me post my post which read:

Ive taken on a task of replacing blankets lost by vets due to flooding, and would like any wool or yarn to make a torrent of blankets for the vets. If anyone knows of vets who lost some due to flooding, Id be happy to add them to my list.

Im hand crochetting blankets so its not a hugely fast process, but, at the same time, Ive done 3 so far..

Im sure furry animals wont complain about colour, however it should be fairly non fluffy or bobbly..

It was rejected because I havent posted an offer first.. Um, its both.. Considering the floods have been estimated to have cost the area over 500mil in damages, and Im asking to help provide, so its not like I even want it for me.. I feel thats pretty crap considering the purpose of the list, eg to recycle and make better use of stuff.. and its not like Im asking for anything expensive.. people on the list have posted microwaves, wardobes and generally stuff you can sell for good money on ebay...

Pasta Boy!!

So, Charlies had his stitches out now, but to prevent him walking on it we placed a dog poo bag full of dried old pasta in the bottom of his sock of doom.. Its proving very successful.

(Shame on you lot for not reading about him!)

Furbag..

Well, Charlie is feeling a little better, too much better at a guess, hes not supposed to walk on his leg for 3 months.. You tell him.. We've tried. it wont do it any favors either.

Poor Puppy!

As you all know I have 2 dogs, one tends to be talked more about than the other, as well one is more active and inquisitive and so tends to do more iteresting things..

Last year, Charlie hurt his leg, basically a dogs knee is held together by 2 ligaments.. He snapped both and his knee had to be rebuilt, this involves 3 months not walking and then small short walks and so on, building up.. well, he had kinda got to a point where he was able to be nice and active all over again...

As my last post mentioned, it got a little wet round here, and while we were uneffected, Charlie got some grass seeds in his front paw and it went pussy and sore, and so hes been a little down.. Well, bless him, hes seriously down now.

On tuesday we were having our usual walk in the park, and Charlie just stopped, hind leg up, just like last time (except the other side).. wednesday we went to the vet about the front paw and found also he had done his knee in, just like last time.. He had an operation thursday (yesterday) to make it better. Hes now very sore, and miserable and lying on the sofa.

I dont think he can find a comfy place to lie/sit..

It also seems I cant do much to help.. its very hard.. But Im here for him for at least the next week. Please think of him, and wish him well. He means the world to me

Irony

Stupid as it sounds, its ironic. We are flooded to the gills (not our house specifically but as an area) and ... we're out of drinking water, and in fact, any kind of water.. our taps are dry....

Predictions are it could be upto 2 weeks before water is restored!!!

Amazon you miserable bunch

** NO SPOILERS! **

So,

Having pre-ordered way back in 2006, they failed to get me my Harry Potter for yesterday, despite an email saying it was dispatched monday.

Pathetic, seriously pathetic.

Thankfully hubby scoured the lands and bought me one to read and whats more Ive read it.

My only comment on the book is that it lacks some of the detail of the last couple, and reads more like a film turned to a book than a book turned to a film as a result. However, its a mighty good read.

Calling Noah!! anyone seen Noah??

I dont think I need to say any more than post the following pictures which were taken (not by me) within a mile or so of where I live.









And a comment for my friend Chris: Im sorry I didnt believe you about the DC.. I do now!!!!

Iko Iko!!

OK, back in the 80s there was a film satisfaction starring Julia Roberts, IMHO, it was one of her better films, but it was still a pretty bad film.. However, from the first time I saw it till this very day, the verison of iko iko on it has stuck in my head.. It was apparently done by Justine Bateman, I just wish I could find a copy..

Deathly Hallows

So..

On Saturday the final book of Harry Potter comes to my door.

I'm seriously excited, I love these books, but at the same time my heart fills with dread and disappointment.. For, there will be no more.. Whether Harry lives, Voldemort dies, or Harry dies, Voldemort lives, sees the errors of his ways and becomes a goody 2 shoes, and head master at Hogworts, Hermione turns to prostitution or a magical nun..

It will be over..

The 7 book journey will be done.

There will be no more unknowns, no more looking forward to finding out what comes next..

:( sulk.

And to top that? digg and various other places have reported that the book has been leaked, and can be seen in photos page by page... Couldnt they wait a week? seriously... they want it to end?

Today @ work

Today at work I had to sit with an engineer who was fitting some hardware to a piece oh kit we already owned.

Let's be realistic here, he had to put in 1 card and 2 tape drives

Its 2PM... He arrived at 9.30 he's spent most of the day on the phone to either his colleuges or other clients, and, as yet, has not installed even 1 piece of kit

As I have to sit with him to make sure he doesn't steal any tapes or data, I have to say the last 4.5 hours of my life have not passed quickly or enjoyably. Playing beakout on my BlackBerry and dropping some random friends emails has been all that's keeping me sane... Its cold in here, and windy from the aircon, its a little like a long airplane ride except I am sitting on the floor and I can't eat or drink in here.

I am a little worried that the next 90 minutes will not see job complete, and that come hometime I shall still be sitting here, wondering if this is gonna end anytime soon....

PS - end note here: I ended up leaving work at just after 6pm, it was a seriously long day and so much more could have been made of today, but it was wasted sitting there in that cold room watching the guy on the phone.

Its all gone orange!

Finally

yes FINALLY!

I got my orange belt to night, well, actually I didnt, I qualified and paid for my belt, but he didnt bring it with him, so I cant have it till NEXT week.. Which I find highly irritating as basically this day was hopefully coming, we all kinda knew it was coming.. how hard could it be to remember to bring a couple of belts for people with him. Grr..

It would have been nice to go to monday class after my birthday with a nice new shiney belt.

Karate update.. The katas

Back in march I posted about 1st Kata, well, Im here to tell you I can now do the first 4!! Oh yes..

Taigyoku Shodan

Taigyoku Nidan

Saifa

Bassai-Dai

Now you can see all 4!

Tunisian blanket completed!!

Well, as I showed you before I was making a tunisian crochet blanket for a friend, heres how it turned out! (You can see a bigger pic if you click on it, to give you an idea its 196 stitches wide and 186 tall.. and was very slow to work)



So now onto my next work which is a rather cheap and easy blanket based on "granny square" technique.. Its already a good chunk bigger than this as it grows very fast. I havent decided wether this is going to be for Nikki the dog owner Im gonna meet up again with on wednesday or the lady at work whos baby is due in september..




If I finish this by wednesday, I will probably give it to Nikki, as it was so fast, if not, Alex can have it :)

The weigh in..

Im sure Ive mentioned Charlies need to lose weight, well.. today, at the weigh in he was a grand 33.15kg, to be honest.. if he doesnt lose another gram I wouldnt be disapointed.. Im sure he will be glad to see a tad more food each day now.

Awsome!

This is AWSOME. Normally I hate any classical stuff thats been "tweaked" but this, this is cool.

OMG the most tragic news.. like.. ever!!!

The spice girls announced today they have reformed..

Heaven help the world

Ever thought your brain was a whole new person?

Brains are annoying.. We've all got up to go get something, got there and cant remember what it was we came for, or, the remembering each evening before bed to do something tomorrow but tomorrow comes and the only time you remember it is just before you go to bed..

My brain seems to have something that annoys me..

Like many people, I suffer from self doubt, it comes in many levels, I hope for most people it comes at a time of stress, where as mine seems almost constant. Anything I've done, must be wrong, anything I do that I put value on, my brain is there nagging me that its crap or I'm making a mess of it, anything that I'm going to do, I fear I will forget, or it will go wrong..

In short, my brain is there telling me I'm a failure, I will always be a failure.

Even when half of me is proud of something, the other half is there telling me its crap, people will laugh, that its not something to be proud of, any moron could do it.

With all this going on in my head, I don't need people to tell me I'm crap, I'm doing that already, so, if I am told I'm crap at something it seems to hit me hard, not because I didn't expect it or believe it, but, worse, because its what I feared was true.

On the flip side, when I'm told I did something good, I don't tend to believe people, I'm embarrassed by it too..

This inner turmoil stops me doing many things, it interferes a lot with interviews, for while Im sure I could do the job, I cant prove to these people Im any better than anyone else, because inside, I'm not.. This inner issue also seems to stop me believing in people, and as I don't seem confident or I guess real to them, they don't seem to believe in me.

This leaves me feeling very left out, very miserable and very frustrated. Made worse then by all the rubbish TV programs where everyone who works together or knows each other seem to hug, and kiss and be overly (scaryingly) friendly, I am fairly observant, so its frustrating then to see/hear people at work having got together over the weekend, it seems all but me were invited. The problem is, the more I see/hear this the less I trust them, and I guess the less they trust me..

Sometimes I wish life were more like tv, where Id be better looking, and even if I were broke and jobless Id still have a nice car, a house and clothes and the like.

Smallville marathon!

Im sure like me you find yourself watching some tv programs even though you cant necessarily put your finger on why you like them. So far, the main ones for me have been Charmed, followed by Smallville. Well, with season 4 and 5 to hand, so far, Ive spent friday evening and all of today, and I do mean *all* .. watching smallville.. well, Im gonna run at soon, I only have 5 more episodes to watch!

Crochet update!

Its been a while.. so. the above is a corner of a baby blanket Im making for my friend Adam, aparently the babys due date is rescheduled till the 22nd June, but, Im still unlikely to make it as its maybe < 1/3 the size so far..

More karate

Today was a karate seminar, on kata - being routines you must learn to get your belts which are a semi dramatisation of a scripted fight, but you do it alone.

If you take a look here you can see a number of kata's, as an adult you need Taigyoku Shodan for the yellow belt, Taigyoku Nidan for your orange.. Ive been lucky, I also have learnt Saifa Im not hugely great at it, but, as I still have a yellow belt, I guess there is a lot of time to improve it. Today, I stretched that further with Bassai Dai its a long kata, but the training method used which is you do move 1, reset to start, move 1 and move 2, reset to start, etc is a good way to leave you remembering it at least for a day or so :)

Last tuesday Sensei for a laugh to demonstrate the power of this teaching method taught us all Sanseru which, Im kinda impressed I can remember most of, but that one is very much years away from me needing it. Technically I know enough katas now to take me through to red belt, you can see how that works out on the Grading syllabus

So, after reading that you can maybe understand my post Jaded even more, todays training was 3 hours, it was humid and Im ready for bed.

Good night.

Crochet update!

Well, I finished the blanket for my friends Pete and Sue and have started on the first of 3 baby blankets Ive promised to make. First is for my friend Adam and his wife Vicky, who I made friends with recently and well, Vicky was due to pop err, 5 days ago :P so I better get going! Next up will be a nice lady called Alex at work, followed by a good friend Adrian and his wife Jo (going in order of expetance)

Please do check out my work and comment.. Im beginning to feel like I only ever talk to myself!

Jaded

I lack a fair bit of self confidence, so, when a guy came to my door asking if I wanted to learn Karate I thought this might be good for me, gets me out, gets me fitter, and gives me a little more confidence I hope in maybe some situations where I perhaps may feel cautious or threatened..

Anyway, time moves on.

Ive been going now for about 7 months. Im beginning to get the hang of the simpler stuff, in terms of goal posts as go, much like most martial arts theres a coloured belt grading system, everyone starts off as white, then white with a yellow tag, then yellow, then yellow with an orange tag (which is where I am now).. so Id like to feel Im not doing too badly.

However, this weekend is grading weekend. Enough people who stand around me who put little effort in are going for their orange belts, and its been said, that if you get put forward its unlikely you would fail. Now.. firstly you must note, Ive not been put forward..

Why?

Well I got invited to go to a different class to most and those who attend this other class dont get to grade like the rest..

Thats ok, I dont mind..

Except, today I do.

Today there was a grading in this class, I didnt get my orange belt, yet those around me who I know are not as good as I (please please! note, this does not mean Im any good, but, I am and it has been mentioned a few times, much better than those in the normal classes I goto as a rule, and therefore, this just makes them crapper, rather than me better... ok?) and yet, they will be getting their orange belts, and so will be deemed better than me.

Im just really demoralised. Ive trained really hard, including practicing in my kitchen, garden, at work... and yet people who are currently commented as worse than me.. are going to be deemed better in me in the eyes of well pretty much anyone.. It would be like saying in a team game the better team didnt win.. if they were better they should have won.. so either Im seriously crap, or, they shouldnt win..

Its really bugging me

I really regret the fact Im going to this other class right now, as Im the most inexperienced person there and it feels like Im expected to be at the same level as these others who have trained for years, to get something most people get in 6-8 months. As it is, Im trying to do things probably a year down the line for those in the normal classes and I admit, sometimes not that successfully.

Its frustrating because I didnt start karate to be "best" at it, but, my biggest problem in life is that the rules always seem different for me, and here it is, slapped in my face, I have to be so much different to everyone else to get the same. At work everyone seems to get away with so much, yet I get shouted at for not covering up for them, when its their job and they dont get shouted at for not doing it..

Today really makes me feel completely crap.

June is here!

Wow, its the 1st June already...

Seems the house next door is having a party.. its like a set of drummers moved in, the musics not that loud, but all Ive heard for about 6 hours is.. drums.. Id yell, but my tonsils are sore again :(

Ive been quiet the last few weeks, sorry.. few replies make me realise Im mainly talking to myself..

HOLIDAY!!

Whee, I booked me a holiday today, its a week away in a cottage supposedly 100m (metres!) from the sea.. I cant wait. Sadly I do have to wait, the best part of 4 months, but., such is the way it goes.

BTW is anyone actually reading this??

Feeling better!

Well, if anyones reading this, they maybe glad to know Im feeling a lot better. Finally. My right tonsil still hurts, but the view with the torch is certainly less stomache wrenching than it was, it almost looks normal in there!

Having had this much time to myself, which I have to say has flown! I have done a bunch of crochet to my current project in the making, Ive played with Delphi, Ive watched some TV.. Im still far more tired than Id like, and the weathers been terrible, so I couldnt even snooze in the sun, which is nice and relaxing, although you should be careful so as not to turn into a beetroot and end up with sunstroke and all that.

The dogs have not understood once inch, they see me at home and expect me to be taking them places and doing things with them, not wishing they would go away and leave me in peace, in fact, the fact I havent been up to taking them for their hour walks each evening and have only done quick drag round the block has been upsetting, the looks on their faces can actually make you feel very guilty! If the weather doesnt pretend to be armageddon again today, I may take them for a short walk with the frizzbee.. Just to show I still care.

8am in the morning and already I feel I could do with a snooze :(

Tonsils

Well Ive been quiet for a couple of weeks, Ive got tonsilitis, with me having a second week off work, today saw an interesting side effect, I yawned and did an exercist style projectille vomit (yep I just had to share). I could go into many gross details.. but, I wont - I am cautious of those of you with gentle stomachs.. (wuss)

Hey, I had to share this most impressive thing ever you may recognise him as the guy from "Who am I" with Jackie Chan..

Im a sucker!

I just placed an order for a new USB pen drive

How pathetic is that?

Britains biggest earthquake!

Britain isnt known for its earthquakes, far from it, as land of the bland where we dont really get hurricans, tornadoes, summer, winter, torrential rain, or anything else.. Other things we dont have are active volcanoes and earthquakes - well we have minor quakes but to be honest as far as I have read 99% of them go unnoticed because they are either that small or less violent than a small truck driving past and people just dismiss it.

However, today.. 4.7 in the richter scale (spelling maybe wrong there) todays quake details

4.7 is the biggest one in england for a good while!

Part of the reason we dont have volcanoes and earthquakes of course is because we arent on any of the plate lines aroudn the globe, and while thats not the only cause of earthquakes, it is the major cause. Hence looking at things like Earthquake monitor you can see the older quakes in purple and see the follow the earth plate lines - yes a few are splatter off this but the majority are on plate lines.

I certainly didnt feel anything firstly, I was asleep, secondly, I think we are too far away from it to even have felt it even if we knew it was happening.

More memories

Im as sick as a parrot right now, to the point i had an appointment earlier but Im tempted to phone the doc already and say no, its gone a stage worse... But Im gonna try hang off, coz the next step would be hospital.. and we all know I dont like them now dont we..

Anyway, One thing you have to do is find things that make you smile, and I loved this song, cant really put a finger on why, but hey, i love this song.

Sick as a parrot..

I feel like DEATH, we shouldnt get ill, we should just die, well at least there would be less suffering.. OK OK, I dont mean it, but I feel really bad, I have an extreme temperature, a huge headache, my throat/tonils/glands are swollen, Im not sleeping, Im sweatting like well, a sweaty thing.. My skin feels like some form of new torture device as bits of it keep sparking with pain..

So, heres something to make you smile, I loved this ad, it sounds rushed now, like it should have been marginally slower, but, its still a good ad.

Memories!

A big big thank you!

I went to the opticians today, what a con that is, 175 pounds for a pair of lenses, which the "1hr stop shop" will have taken 3 hours to do start to finish.. sigh.. oh and I had to pay an extra for anti reflective coating despite not wanting it, as otherwise they'd have to "send off" for lenses which would be like a week... And if you could see my old ones, believe me, waiting a week wasnt an option.

anyway, I sat there with some lady who was waiting for her husband, and the 15 minute wait turned to conversation (as we british women do) and well, the short version is, I had in my pocket a voucher for 30 quid off a full set of glasses, which, had 2 parts, 1 for me, and 1 for "friend or family" .. so I gave them the friend or family one, why not, I dont know anyone else likely to go to the opticians in question, and well they would be using it, so, it was no skin off my nose..

So, I come out of my appointment having been told no my prescription hasnt changed - which was no surprise there, to find her waiting for me and I got a pressie of a pack of thorntons (best uk chocs!) mini eggs!! How kind was that.

So, to you mrs you really are kinda and wonderful and renewed my faith that humanity and manners arent long dead! May you and your husband have a great easter and life to come.

Post 201.. update on vids..

So, this is the 201st post.

Its not that deep and meaningful, I finished my DS9 watching, and have moved onto series 1 of house. At this point, its a little disapointing, theres only 2 series :(

I love house (I know Ive mentioned it before) I just love the fact he reminds me of me.

I also need to say it was a glorlously sunny bank holiday friday..

Today was almost a great day!

First Kata..

Ive mentioned karate a few times, and finally found this, which is a guy doing the first kata, I can do this!! (well maybe not this well I wobble on the big turn)

Fluffs!!

Todays dog walk was going to be like no other, Ive found a new park to take them to, we went there last week breifly, but due to the time we went, lots of other dogs were there today, as a result, lots and lots!

Charlie's leg is much better now hes using it far more like normal, in fact, its becoming unusual for him to treat it differently which is such a relief, but today was spent running around the park for an hour playing with other dogs, sniffing and being woofy, and he was back to his old self, the last few months have been stressful for I have worried for him a lot.

Fave songs..

Much as this may sound odd, this is a song with the most meaning for me, but its not actually my "fave", however, my world would be so very different without it, and the movie it came from (PS search for Electric Dreams, I think they pretty much put the whole film up!)

Everyone hates hairdressers..

Now, I have long hair, its kinda waist length ish.. and Ive seen 2 hair plats, one is the standard kind you were taught when you were a kid where you see that there are most definately 3 strands (say something like this) and then theres another called fishtails...

However, it seems this is one of those things you cant do to yourself..

grr

However, I did find this which while comical, is also deadly serious.. so many of these things are common sense and so on, but, an interesting read

I want a wee!!!!

OK, so I want a wii.. but hey, far more fun to write the title I did.

:( sadly it seems all the Wii's in the uk for sale are on ebay for about 2x their actual RRP.
But I do want one, and I came within a hair of paying 300 pounds for one! rediculous money.. but, I put my limit as 300, (with postage etc) and .. it came in 2 pounds more.. sigh..

2 people Im proud to call friends

Now, if you've ever seen the series on BBC tv called "grumpy old ".. and its theres a women and a men series, you'd know I fit in the grumpy old women section. I find children highly irritating, the world is not as it should, manners seem gone, children just seem rude, noisy, ill mannered, ungrateful and in general need of a good slap!

So, I feel that I need to tell you two, two children around 13 years old that I am proud to consider friends, Im proud to know and anyone who finds children as annoying as I would want to know too!

For their sake, I wont use their names, but theres a girl and a boy, they arent brother and sister, not even step brother/sister, but thats probably the nearest. The come from a big family, many in the family do not seem to share their manners but certainly these two do, they've not had playstations handed to them like they fall out the sky, they've not had much handed to them on a plate, they are prepared to work for things, and as a result, they come to karate, they dont mess about, they appreciate that their respective parents PAY for the lessons and as a result, they try. Dont get me wrong, they are kids, they have fun, they can be silly, they can get worked up over what are most likly trivial things. But, its almost funny, but they find most of the other kids, annoying. Just like I do, they wish they would shut up, would try, would have some respect and the boy gets so frustrated when people mess around. The girl has respect for peoples posessions, they are both very observant about people, their reactions, their feelings.

Sure there are kids out there who have had harder lives, or who deal with great adversities but, in someways those kids have had strong reasons to grow up faster and have forgone a lot of their childhood. These two have found what Id like to term the "perfect balance" they do have fun, they are kids, but they have all the values us grumpy old farts want to see in kids.

I wish, I wish of all things, that there were more kids like these two. If these two came to me and asked to stay the night, Id have no quarms in having them in my home, heck, I would trust these two to have a door key and let themselves in if I werent there.. any of the others I wouldnt even want through my front door unless I was going to be allowed to treat them as my own, eg, you do something dangerous or repeatedly wrong without care and thought.. you get a slap.

So, while Im not a drinking person. Please, hold your glasses up to these two. For they really really are, great kids. Im proud to have met them, and honored that they consider me a friend.

Chain letters

Normally I hate chain letters as much as the next man, but, this I actually thought was beautifully well written and if it dont make you cry, you must be very very strong.

Daddy's Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called
a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"
she heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.

"Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart"

With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.
You see he was a policeman
and died just this past year
When airplanes hit the towers
and taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.
And to her mothers amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy,"
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special
person, an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them, but then an entire
life to forget them.

Send this to the people you'll never forget and
remember to send it also to the person that sent
it to you. It's a short message to let them know
that you'll neve r forget them.

If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're
in a hurry and that you've forgotten your
friends.

Return of HOUSE!!!!

I love House. why? not sure, I just find it great to watch someone whos so ingenius, screwed up but ingenius, yes I know its not real, but its very well done.

Much as I love CSI, I know that in reality the events of most shows would take years, but, the again its the portrayal of people like Gil Grissom, who again, seems kinda messed up but at the same time is a complete genius.

A new series of House starts thursday, I really really hope I dont forget!

Holo suite

So, we've all seen the holo suits from star trek, they can take you any where, any time etc, I wonder what would you do, if you could only ever have 1, would you go past, present or future, real or fantasy, you cant break rules of science so you'd have to retain your body, gravity, etc.

In my DS9 watching stint, they have quite a few holo suite references, obviously theres the Quark's style of holo suite for a more personal effect, and I guess you could have that as your only one, but you could meet anyone, be anywhere..

It got me thinking as to what Id have...

Stress

I apologise for having gone a little quiet. Those who know me off blog will know Ive had a tough couple of weeks with something and while I would desparately love to express it all here, until something major in my life changes, I know best to keep it off anywhere public, for it can be used against you.

Just know I feel very very low, frustrated and at this time it doesnt look like it will be getting different any time soon.

On top of that, my body seems to be trying to have some kinda heavy cold or flu, Im cold, sweating, ache like nothing else, my bronchial tubes feel like they are on fire, Im coughing and my head feels like its in a vice but made of mush.

YAY! YAY! YAY!

Its over!
Its finally over!

The revenge of the jumper is actually finished!

The worst realisation hit me.. I want to knit me a jumper.. NOOOOOO!!!!

That was the the week that sucked..

Ever had a week that you can only say it sucked.. yet, not because a hugely bad thing happened, in fact, far from it, everyone could understand that, no one would be surprised, just oneof those weeks where everything niggled and nibbled at you constantly, over the stupid tiny things, spilling something on your clean top, that kind of thing, well I had that week.

Culminated by my boss who had asked for a list of computers and their memory, having been given it, then asking for the actual chips in it.. which wasnt what he had asked for, plus he'd actually written by 30th March too.. not 16th feb which was when he said..

I got kicked real hard last week at karate, so, I swear.. if that guy and I spar again... Im going for the soft bits.. Im sorry but I couldnt put my arm on a desk for 4 days.. I wont be holding back.

Revenge of the jumper

So.. for all of you who followed the jumper that turned into the world biggest mess, you may recall (Im sure its mentioned) that Im workingon revenge of the jumper.. This one looks to be going more to plan, its got a few dodgy bits in it, where it look slike holes but they arent.. I promise.. I dunno what they are, but they arent holes made in a traditional way anyway..

Repeat after me: I HATE KNITTING

so, tonight, its 10.30pm, I just finished the front, so Ive done front and back now..

2 sleeves and the neck to go, not much in comparison it has to be said - although, scaryingly did you know, the top of your sleeve is nearly as wide (when flat eg not in a tube shape) as the chest??

However, I am rejoicing in the fact I could kinda sew it now and call it a tank top :P

You yellow bellied FOOL!

Today I graded and succeeded in getting my yellow belt! I am now 8th kyu. I actually watched the kids do theirs (ok, small people of less than 13 years of age) and for them to get a yellow belt they just have to do the various kicks, punches and blocks we have been taught, in essense its just another lesson.. Once they move on , they need to learn the things the "adults" (those greater than 13 years old) need to do..

One thing I found in a way quite horrifying was how sloppy some of the higher level belt people (adults and children) were, I believe (and could be wrong) belt colours go, white, yellow, orange, green, blue, red, brown, black, but I saw people with orange belts (who now have green ones) who were very sloppy, I know Im not worthy to say it, but Id like to think if *I* had done that I wouldnt have passed..

So, the new car is here!

I would have posted last night but everything was timing out, and well it was just a mess.

I have my new car, my probe is gone :(

However, in a way, if you believe in these things you might want to think of this.

Last decent snow I remember, I was a kid. Since then, I have never been to work in a decent amount of snow, nor have i not made it to work because of snow.

Having bought a new car and been in a stinky mood.. I took today and tomorrow off. Guess what I woke up to today?



Yep, thats my garden.. oh look.. SNOW!

its still snowing, so, Im gonna wait till its deeper then head out and laugh at people .. mwhahahaha.

This wouldnt be so funny if it wasnt true

I cant say any more than this

ARGHHHH!!!!

So, today starts with a call from an external group who monitors some of our servers saying it didnt come back after the month end backup and that they cant get in.. To the non technically minded of you think of a cluster in the following terms, its usually made of 2 or more computers. So, lets call them A and B.. they are the 2 halfs that can claim to be this "cluster", we'll call it C.

When A and B are running this C can be on either computer, it doesnt matter, no one can tell, and thats exactly what they want, they want it so if one of the 2 computers A or B dies, C continues without issue, and that after maybe a brief delay, the other computer will take over, but no one need know.

So.. When the cluster isnt running there is no C.. you cant connect to it.. you have to connect to A or B.. as thats all there is, 2 individuals called A and B.. apparently this is too hard for the support group who are supposed to be "experts" to understand

So
While explaining this for like the umteenth trillionth time..

I get a message on my phone.. so I call them back

My cars not going to be ready today... ARGH ok, now Im getting a bit mad, why? Well, I had psyked myself up for this, the parting of my beloved car.. and now.. its not happening.. not today anyway.. Most likely tomorrow.

So.. the day goes on..


So Im doing some work find some faults with a crappy product we use, so I reported it, entered my details my work number, finally, it said how do you wish to be contacted, phone, email or web.. email says me..

A short while later.. my personal mobile rings... its them.. Email me like I asked.. I hang up.

I check the call.. the call says my desk number.. and contact by mail.. so I log a call on the website saying their website isnt keeping settings correctly...

I get a call.. its them.. apparently the dont phone please email in big letters was too subtle.

So, I find another bug.. so I go through the polava again, making sure I check the phone number.. nope deffinately desk number, and contact by email....

So the phone rings..

FFS people.. when it has a big paragraph about not getting the email updates and dont call me by phone.. PLEASE do not call me, PLEASE do email me.. Unless you want either a stream of cuss words or to be hung up on.. then do feel free to call coz I will be exeedingly mad..

Oh, they also ask your hours of working.. Im gonnna bet that if I check my webmail now.. theres a "you havent responded" message - despite me having had to declare my hours of working to them.. Wow, no, but they did respond after the time I declared I would go home, so Im kinda expecting one first thing in the morning then.. oh well..

Today has just sucked from start to finish.

doom and gloom draws ever nearer

Tomorrow is rushing upon me like a stampeed of wild beasts, and the moment to part with my car will be upon me.

Karate today was vaguely successful a girl from the thursday class turned up and shes nice, and she struggles with similar stuff to myself, so it was nice to be paired withher as it meant it was very even.

I should be going for grading on sunday, Sensei is going to come to my house as Ive no idea where it is, and I'll drive him there.

Tomorrow is going to be sad.

Cars

This is hard for me to explain.

For some reason I get very emotionally attached to my cars. Ive only ever had 2 for which I didnt feel any form of remorse when I either was forced or felt best to part with them for one reason or another.

And, because of my dog and wishing to make his life easier and being semi practical about life, a time has come to change my car.

I currently own a very happy and well loved ford probe. top of the range, all the mod cons, goes like the clappers, has never let me down, (other than the lock froze the other week when it was very cold), but, a sports car is not dog friendly, the leather seats and claws wont work, having a boot that comes to my waist is not easy for a dog with an injured leg to bounce into.. a cd player is not comfy for them to lie on, and well, it seems its time to come to buy a new one.

So, last weekend my hubby took me to the place we bought my current car from to see what they had. One thing I hate more than anything is boring cars, and well most modern cars are boring.. And Im also tight with my money so to be honest, I didnt want to spend any money, the car I have is a good car, but, we're trying to be practical.. So, we look around the lot, I dont like small cars (so if you sit in the drivers door and can touch the passenger window without leaning.. no chance), I dont want a girly car, I dont want a merc A class (would rather die), or a BMW.. so.. there werent that many choices within the price Id spend and the car Id get .. it came out as:

A T reg ford focus about 3.5k
A V reg landrover freelander 5k
A V reg corvette 20k
A mondeo .. dont know the exact year or price.. why? it was a hiddeous colour put me right off

now.. (the prices are the numbers at the end btw) now the corvette is obviously somewhat expensive, but it is a seriously nice car, so much as I wasnt going to buy it, it has to go on the list as well Id buy it given half a chance.

So, the ford focus, the most practical of the 2, its a 1.6, black.. unfortunately theres a girl in my office, almost same age as me.. owns an almost identical car, this could be its twin, same year, same colour, same model.. so.. no offense world.. keep it.

So, a Landrover freelander, its a 4x4, its petrol - would have been slightly nicer if it was diesel but, there you go, it was a nice enough colour - black would have been better but a second hand car, you cant always pick what you want. Its a very deep metalic red. 5 doors, dont need 5, a 3 door would have been nice, but to be honest, its not so bad, doesnt quite have the ac/sunroof etc that my current one has and Im gonna miss it, but, its very dog friendly

This is my current car the grey one


This will be my new one

Today, my current car and I went for a drive, for me parting with a loved car is like a relationship break up, for today we went for a drive we had a huge amount of fun, and then came.. the talk. The one where you explain its not its fault and that you love it, but that its over.. Parting with the probe feels wrong, previously when parting with a car it was either because of total infatuation with a new one, or, major painful loss of an old one, this one is for practical terms, and it feels like going home just before the end of the film, just missing say the last 5-10 minutes, it just feels like its a teeny bit too early.. Not that it shouldnt happen, just that theres a little more life and goodness in it yet.

But, come tuesday its going to be a hard day. Its going to be very emotional behind the scenes. Dont get me wrong, I am looking forward to the freelander, Im sure hes going to be fun, just in a very different way. My probe knows his time is up, a bulb failed in his head light this morning so he only has 1 eye. He looks a little sorry for himself - I took a number of pictures and its sad his parting photos will have him with 1 eye, but I do have a number of photos of him, looking happy on our driveway, hes in very good condition, I just hope his new owners when they find him will love him even half as much as I do.. Id hate to think they dont.

I guess it feels like it would parting with one of my dogs because a land lord has said I cant keep them but I can have a cat.. I can love a cat, theres nothing wrong with the cat, and so on, but, Im parting with a friend and I want to think that he will go to a home where hes loved and given the same love as he gets now.

Enterprise :P

So, I finished TNG.. Im on Enterprise now!!

Debts

Have I ever talked to you guys about debts?

Nothing I find more annoying is the attitude to debt on tv. "ooh Im so indebt, I cant afford my bills each month, we spend more than we earn" ... deep soothing voices says "Does this sound like you?, well we can help, take out a loan and all will be great, you can do it over the phone, we wont turn you down" .. what should happen is a little red man with horns and a pointy tail appears saying "just sell me your soul"..

in nearly every ad about debt solutions they make out they can make your debt less.. yeah by streatching it over the next 400 years, so while you may only pay 20 units of currency a month, you'll be paying it long past your death and at an interest rate that out of that 20, 19.99 is interest.

But worse still..

the ones that have the person who was supposedly in debt talking to their "friend" later saying "Oh we got the loan we even had *money left over* so we went and bought a new car/on holiday/got a conservatory" .. err..

the "new" car featured is usually *new* not just as in new to them, and a conservatory costs generally at least 10k even for a naff one.. Im sorry, but these people were struggling to afford stuff, now you have them on a loan for a long time to come so even though they maybe paying less instead of having to live tight for a couple of years its now say 10.. and on top of that you conned them into borrowing well more than they needed! These people dont have money, what part of this is unclear??

What made me write this rant? theres a thing on tv about a couple - the sounds off, but they were in debt so bad they felt the best thing was to emigrate.. some family member paid off their debts and so .. err, they went to australia on the way to where-ever they were going.. and well are shown in a plush hotel, drinking a lot, smoking.. um.. if they had no money.. how did they afford this? Im not sure I could afford a trip to australia, let alone the plush hotel, the constant all day drinking shown... yet these guys were supposed to have no money at all.. Australia was not where they were planning to emigrate to.. (from the captions anyway) they only went to Australia to "Pick up a package" um.. yeah, just popping out mum, need to go to australia for a beer.. dont think so.

Saturday comes around

So its saturday, my new year decision to watch all the startrek next gen episodes is almost complete, to go along with this, first contacts about to be on tv, with insurection tomorrow!! yay

Startrek ftw!

I apologise for being quiet recently, havent had a lot to say I guess, Karate is going well, my friend Kellie is hoping to come for her first less on Monday, she was originally going to come this week but shes put a rib out coughing, and so the rest was probably a good idea.

I would have gone to thursdays but I was working.. Well more acurately watching a progress bar for most of 2 hours - exceiting huh.

Well, I apologise deeply for lack of posting - but then, I also wonder just how many people have even noticed my absense, its a little like that if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a noise.. thought..

Cute!

A zoo has placed a number of webcams online for us all to share, other places have done similar.

See lots of animals here

Meet 3 people who made me who I am!

To give you some idea I was an only child, and had few friends. The day I met these 3 people.. changed my life!

See here

Happy new year!

Well 2007 is here, the sun is shining, the sky is blue! In fact, its not a bad day at all.

I dont really do new years resolutions, but, if I have one, its not to waste so much of my time. For example, Ive been off the last 2 weeks and I cant help but look back and other than watching a ton of startrek, posting a large number of posts on forums and newsgroups about delphi, I cant help but think Ive actually done little with my time, and cant help but regret that this is a waste.

So, my only resolution stands : I will try harder not to waste my personal time doing things I wont remember when I look back. So, less gaming, less faffing around, and more reading, more coding, more crochet, more exercise, more pointful things.

Of course, its bound to fail, Im a lazy cow, but, today, Id like to think rather than "just watching startrek" I will do other things, code or crochet comes to mind.. I had projects in mind for this christmas period coding wise, and I did none of them. My crochet has grown but not half as much as it could have given the time.

Derren Brown

Now, Derren Brown is a rather impressive guy to watch. Those of you who have yet to see him for want of a short phrase, hes a mind reader, but he isnt. Its purswasion, illusion, and suggestion and a lot of flare!

They showed him "live" at some theatre, and yes, some of its hard to believe such as things like he is supposed to have stopped his heart beating and then walked over some glass and had some big guy stand on him.. which Im sorry if your heart stopped that long you'd fall over, or be actually dead..

However, a lot of it is just so entertaining to watch. The last one he did he got a cabby who knows London like nothing else and he got him to give out random directions.. Now as a prelude to this the audience had met at some train station been put on a bus with no windows, blindfolded walked into the theatre so they didnt know where they were.. the directions were how to get to the theatre they were at from the tubestation... but not the same route they went on the bus.. Stuff like that is impressive.

Today he did this strange things with buttons, hard to imagine anything that strange with buttons

He said that as a kid he used to get picked on and to distract himself from the pain of the kicking he would count things, and he got very good at it.. anyway, basically he got a woman to grab a few handfuls of buttons onto a tray, cover the tray, cover the original bowl so he cant see and guess. Then slap him to death and pull cover off the tray, and in less than a second he proclaimed the number of buttons on the tray.. she counted them under a camera.. and he was right..

Now, thats freaky, but it gets more freaky

Next he made her shake the tray around so the buttons were moving.... and do the same..
He got that right too!!

He did some other weird stuff in other programs like a room of like 60 or was it 100 objects and got a person to creep around and select an object.. yeah despite being blindfold and there being no noise... he knew which object it was.. strange stuff

but its really facinating to watch.

So if you've never seen him and it comes up on your tv schedule..

WATCH IT for a laugh! You'll find yourself wondering how he did it.

Oh, only ones not to try were the rusian rulette one, and anything else that could cause death.

more on Glandular fever/mono

So..

Christmas eve it started, hinting away with a mouth ulsa, now, its the gland in my neck as well, I dont feel ill but the gland stuff is always tiring, the mouth ulsa is painful and annoying.

So, Im tired. But this week I had a trip to the inlaws today, and my Dad on thursday! So, no lounging in bed for me for a few days to give me a better chance of being well, no no, following the trip to my Dad, I only have friday and monday off and its back to work as if nothing happened..

I wonder.. naa work would never let me book 2 weeks off starting the wednesday (or thursday for that matter), mind you, even if they had, the 2 weeks would fly and it would be just the same if nothing else had changed, except Id be down 2 weeks holiday though.

Happy Christmas!!

Yep, its christmas day, and as always you can find me where Im at my best.. Behind my keyboard!

You know, its disapointing to see how many of my geek friends arent doing the same.. oh well, time to watch more festive tv.. wait.. there isnt any.. Oh well, more reruns of sad pathetic old shows Ive seen more times than Ive thought of.

Whats the point of tescos?

So, its saturday, ok the saturday before christmas, but to be honest, for our tesco, what Im about to say applies to every saturday and sunday going.

Why open if you dont have any food!!

A funny!

Now, if you are the easily offeneded kind, or find the following personally offensive in anyway, Im sorry. But this is funny.

SouthPark does

On this kinda note - not sure if I mentioned it before, probably but hey, I dont remember so you can get it again.

We've all noticed now how everyone has some kinda medical issues now-a-days, wether its exma, asthma, allergies, through to more serious things like MS and so on..

But if we had all lived 100 years back, next to none of this would have existed.

The problem is that when some new one gets a name and in the press, everyone has it, its like the being fat excuse of "its my glands" .. yes, legitmiately for some people this is true, but for all those who blame them, very few actually medically have backing of this. Now, speaking as a person who is larger than the doctors deam "Normal".. Id love to have this excuse, but, I know where my additional weight came from, chemo, followed by being so tired and run down I couldnt do much and stuffing my face to gain energy but not, just pileing on the pounds.

So, onto the subject, and again, if you find this offensive, Im sorry, but, its just my thoughts.

A.D.D, I dont disbelieve in it, so let me make that clear, but so many people online claim ADD.. In fact, play online game, find someone under 15 or so, their age will show in something if you group/raid and hey presto "be nice to me I have ADD" seems to be the default reply.. Is ADD really that prevelant or, is it just the case of because disipline is lacking now in todays society, after all kids now cant even fail exams, or be told things are wrong.. they seem to have little respect for anyone.. so, is that really ADD or just little oik ??

Hmm, vanguard download

So, I waited all day, watching the timer count down to like 5 minutes..

Then it shot up to 11 hours!!!

now despite even restarting it, in case it was a little confused.... it still thinks theres 7 hours to go

if this sucks when I get there, I'll be very bored.

Vanguard!?

Now, I know Im getting older, and I know one day my memory will fail and not long after that incontinancy will follow Im sure.. but, hopefully those days arent here yet.. but I am thinking that they maybe sooner than I'd like, why?

I got an invite to the vanguard beta, this is MMORG game long awaited by main game players out there, only to find.. its run by Sony! Im sure, Im so so sure, that so much of the hype about why vanguard was going to be great was because it wasnt done by the makers of EQ. Well ,it was, but it was being done by those who had left EQ and moved on to do vanguard.. Now, it seems Sony has that too?

Karate lesson #6

The final less for 2006, was an odd less, it was very much geared around christmas and children, and paying 5 pound 50 to kinda watch kids play games isnt necessarily my idea of good value. However.. it was the second half of our grading..

Technically I am now a white belt with little yellow tips, Im 8th Kyu or something. :) whee!

Chillis may save the world! (Diabetes cure found!)

Now, those of us who love chillis (personally, I love finely chopped chillis on toast, yes, you read that right, take a chilli, remove the seeds, finely chop stick on toast with a bit of butter.) This article just tells us maybe all we ever needed to know about chillis.

Diabetes cure?

Now, for those of you with diabetes, I bet that any results of this finding wont come quick enough, but, at least this is the most positive thing to come for diabetics everywhere in a long time. After all, this is potentially a cure, not a treatment!

However, I was interested to read that back in 1999 it said they found it was like pain, and that some guy on a whim decides to try injecting chilli stuff, and hey presto.. It comes back to 1 thing though.. All these break throughs, is it me, or is sometimes something natural and simple often the best answer? Pills and potions always seem to have more side effects.

Karate lesson #5

Today we did the first half of our gradings for yellow belt. So, of course, despite the fact last week I remember it all nicely, this week, I messed up.

However, other than we are being scruitinised for our grading, this week was much like last week. I wanted to talk to the trainer after the lesson, but he was busy, next week is our last week before christmas.

I fear I will fail, I got the impression from before the lesson that its almost impossible to fail.. but, somehow, I guess the inner doubts I have make me feel I will.. And its for those reasons Im going, I need to improve myself confidence.. that and it would be nice to think if some guy came at me I could at least put up some resistance.

Nigela Lawson.. A rant by me

For those who may not know, Nigela Lawson is supposedly a chef. She is currently on my tv talking about cooking. However, there is so much wrong with this woman its hard to know where to start.

This is the kind of woman who would say things like "I would only use wine that has been hand crushed by vestal virgins from mount Olympus and you only need 3 bottles" ...

She really seems to insist on the most expensive things, and while we know often they probably do taste better, lets grab some realism, I dont mind spending time preparing a meal, I dont mind spending *some* money on making it nice.. but Im not spending a months wages on a snack, and Im not going to have go to on 87 holidays just to get the pieces she blathers on about.

The series called Naked Chef by Jamie Oliver, was based on good simple premise, buy reasonable food, cook it, eat it. Minimal greif, for nice food. Great respect for that. Nigela has never had anything practical about her cooking.

She all but finely chops herbs and then places each piece on the food.. where as anyone else just throws.. She has a voice to drive you to drink too, and originally I admired the fact she was a cook (I cant bring myself to say shes a chef, as to why, I shall explain later), and was thin.. sadly was is so much the word. Now, Im never gonna win thinnest person UK, but she makes me look thin.

So.. why the "cook" ?? well she was on radio saying how she hated cooking and that it was too much effort to warm food from the fridge/freezer..

So, she should get stuffed, shes a rich person sapping even more money by making pretentious cooking programs.. and if I never saw her on my tv again.. Id be happy.

PS Oz Clarke is nearly as annoying about wine.. guess which program followed hers?

Karate lesson #4

Today we did that first kata all the way through, which is 20 moves in total I think. So, I feel pleased with myelf. I however sponged a lift off the instructor home - its like 10 minute walk but it was quite windy, and spitting looking like it might immenantly throw it.. so, he was kind enough to let me in the car :P

We did a lot more today, it was hard work, I went very red and blotchy coz I was hot, I was terribly sweaty, so took my 2nd t-shirt off.. came to put it on at the end and it was cold and wet.. EWWWW - half the reason I didnt want to walk home coz I was cold already!!

We saw the second kata today, as 2 new people came, one has a yellow belt the other orange, and the second one (yellow) is the same as the first but with kicks, you punch kick on the single steps and kick punch on the linked steps.. so, it should be fairly easy to remember when my time comes!

The weekend comes and goes

Cant believe its saturday night already, its nearly 11pm, and what did I do today?

Charlie went down the vet, whos still pleased with his progress, to the point we dont have to go next week, we get the week off, a trip to tesco, played a short bit of wow, did some crochet.. I really dont know where it all went..

Sunday, well Dad will ring around 10am tomorrow, as always, I'll wash a few clothes.. then it will be monday!

Id like to recommend two products for you though

MediaMonkey - a media player, written in delphi, its real cool!
Bits Du Jour - a place that sometimes has great software for a stupidly cheap price. This week, for example I bought automise from them for $19.95, normal price? $195!!!

Ever had the feeling...

We've all done something and had that feeling where you think, if I had used just 1 brain cell, just 1, I wouldnt have done that.. but..

Have you ever found yourself wondering if your brain is really wired wrong? Either when you really cant grasp the concept of something you know must be simple, or that you just dont find something funny that everyone else is virtually hospitalised with hysterics over, or something??

Im having a week where I swear there must be something really really differently wrong in my head..

Charlie the pup

So, how is Charlie you ask?

Well last weekend he got done with the trimmers. and I mean done.
So, as you can probably see the photo was taken just as I finished the job, and hadn't as yet tidied up! Hes sitting next to his pile of fur.. the rest being splattered around the landing carpet.

He does look very different when hes done, when his fur is around 2 inches + he looks very bearded collie, which he half is, but when trimmed the springer spaniel side of him shows through strongly.

Hes also happier as usually like now by the time I do him his fur is getting longer and hes feeling quite hot. He doesnt enjoy a fair chunk of the trimming, feet especially, he also has a very short attention span, but with the new trimmer I bought last year it does only take 15-20 minutes including the breaks to do him, where as the first time I did him, he didnt mind me doing it quite so much but I only had nail scissors and it took about 2.5-3 hours!!!

The vets went well this weekend (yes this should really have come before the Karate 3 post), the vet is please hes well and doing fine, although perhaps a little too fine as he must not try and walk on the leg and well Charlie feels he should when only moving a few steps.

Another good point this weekend was that Charlies weight is down, he was 45kg. Hes now around 41.85! thats great weight loss considering its not like hes getting much exercise.

Its still hard not to spoil him rotten, let him play and so on as you can see in him that hes missing the fun and sad, and when anyones sad you want to cheer them up, somehow.

Karate lesson #3

Well, success again this week. No falling over.

We've learnt some punches, some kicks and, some blocks.

Im biologically at a disadvantage for the short stomache punch as you need to put your elbow in to your stomache.. only.. well.. as a female, there are 2 "glands" which get in the way..

We do stomache punches, head punches, back hand head level punches, back hand sideways punches, short stomache punches, rising elbow punches and.. round elbow punches...we then do front kicks, side kicks, round kicks and back kicks. (the kicks not too surprisingly I do very well given Im flexible, but without the balance is when Im most likely on the floor)

we do head blocks, inside hook blocks, outside hook blocks, downward blocks and sweeping blocks.

While that sounds like a lot of stuff, its generally announced "do this" and then we do like 10 of them, and maybe 10 faster, or 10 of something else and then swap back.. this is ok

what is harder is we are now being taught to do them and move. So things like bounce back and forth on your feed and then punch.. believe it or not, its amazing how many ways there are to mess that up!

We are also being taught our first kata, katas are like a routine. This first one has around 20 moves in it, and while all are made from one of the above...remembering which is next, which foot/hand to move..what to do with the rest of you..oh and when trying to turn 270 degrees of course, not fall over.. this is actually surprisingly hard.

We've learnt the first moves they go something like

stand, turn 90 degrees left and block with left hand in a lower block,
step forward and punch
turn 180 and block with right hand in a lower block
step forward and punch
turn 90 degrees left and block lower block with left and
step forward punch
step forward punch
step forward punch and shout
270 degree turn and block with I think right hand.. gets a bit mushy here
and I think stepforward and punch..

Well I found this link .. you tell me how good I remembered!

Karate me II

Well

today was the second karate lesson. I found to my surprise I had remembered far more than I had thought I had. We did some combinations today, as well as a new kick, and the first 3 moves on the "first kata" which is a routine to prove your skill. Last week I had serious issues with the blocks, next to none of them worked for me, in the sense that I could block with the arm to prevent the blow/kick.. but the other kinda well my brain didnt know what to do with it, it could only concentrate on 1 arm at a time. This week I got a couple of them almost right! yay and I didnt fall over this week either, always a bonus.

I must be really really deranged.

So.

I thought I heard the front door shut.. odd considering my hubby and I were upstairs, as were both dogs.. So, I wanderded down, the light was on.. even more concerned I opened the door, to find a man standing there, big grin on his face.

The short story goes.

His name is Mike and hes a karate instructor starting lessons in my area, would I sign up.

Well.

I confess.

I have.

no no, seriously, stop laughing.

I have!

I start monday..

I'll write from hospital I promise :P

My thoughts go to Sophie

In 1999 I had leukaemia, to some of you this is no shock, you already knew, however to those who didnt.. :P I did so there.

anyway, a young girl near here has it, and is blogging about her time. I had kind of done something similar except I got little time at home or online while I was in, and well, even though it was only 7 years ago, its funny how time was so different then.

You can read about her here

For those who missed my waffle on me inside you can read that here

Ballroom dancing (quick note)

Why is it (watching celebrity come dancing thing) in waltzes etc which are romantic the woman throws her head back and looks as far away from the guy as humanly possible with a look on her face like "Man you stink!"

Poor pup!

This last week has been hard, and if you aren't a pet owner, or haven't had small kids, this may not make a lot of sense. But, we have 2 dogs, Charlie and Kiera. Kiera was rescued be me from wandering up and down a duel carriage way, and abandoned, having captured her, phoning the most famous organisation for rescuing animals.. they said "Is she injured?" on no.. they said "Sorry we don't do stray animals".. fine.. sorry guys I had a lot of love for that organisation, ever last scrap went with that comment. (As they do do strays!!!)

Charlie, was our first pup and I guess in someways that will always make him a little special. However, there is just something about him, his character he is just a special little guy (little isn't really a good word, as hes 45kg!)

anyway

Last year, Charlie had an operation on his ear for a lump, which we were told was benign, but has reoccurred so he had an op again this year on the 28th (I thought I had blogged about my response when we were told it was back and stuff.. but apparently not, just as well the post would have been rather angry)

Well this week has been a week of tragedy

On going back on Monday for a check up Charlie had been exceedingly more than reluctant to get in my car. To the point of in trying we had succeeded in ripping the plastic facia stuff off the back, as well as him fretting and ending up on my front seat, well bum in the foot well paws on the seat with him drooling like a manic thing into the seat..

When we were told we should come back Wednesday, I made him a deal. You get in the car without too much fuss, and we'll go for a big big walk round the fields near the vets, as on the Monday I had rewarded him with a short walk there and he had behaved so well (we don't have good places to let dogs off the leads near us all the big green bits open straight onto roads where cars are doing between 40-60mph..)

Wednesday came, he got in the car with little effort, and so his reward was an hour of walks around the fields, he was the model of perfection, any fears I had about his behavior when things may crop up, like people walking there too (he tends to bounce) I could call and he would come back and walk with me, when other dogs came in he didn't rush and play, he stayed with me as asked and well I could have cried I was just so proud..

What happened next was the saddest thing (Well it could have been worse I grant but, there is no justice here)

I commented to a lady with her 2 collies how well behaved they were and the collies took a ball and came over to charlie and asked him to play so I let him, so they all played together, Kiera couldn't be bothered, and it was glorious to see everyone playing in the wonderful sunshine..

I was about to go, so through the ball 1 last time.

Charlie didn't make it there first, and then turned and lifted his back leg up, he wouldn't put it down, he had hurt himself.

he came back looking real sorry

so I checked his paw, lay him down, checked his leg he didn't whine, couldn't find anything obvious.

So we went back to the vet - Poor Charlie had to walk, it was probably half mile!

The vet looked and found the problem very quickly

Charlie had broken both Cruciate ligaments in his knee (Explained here ) in short, these are a X shaped pair that hold the knee together.

I was devastated, what a horrible way for such immaculate behavior to be rewarded.

An operation was booked for the next day, I asked to attend. It was granted, I was kinda relieved, having 2 ops in a week is certainly not good for a dog, and I had so many fears, and I confess there is an element of feeling at fault so being there at the making better was to help me feel included in the doing so.

The vets have been marvelous, the even reshuffled bringing the op forward - the sooner done, the less damage happens to the inner bits of his leg.

The op went well.. The best that could be expected, no complications, no compromises, all good.. For someone (me) who's scared of needles like you've never seen, I do have a rather curious lack of issue as long as they are going into someone else. So, even watching someone I love as much as Charlie, was not an issue, seeing them cutting and poking and even the scary hook thing they used to pop his knee.. not a flinch.. (kinda just as well the room wasn't that big if I had passed out, thrown up or such there was no room!)

The hardest part was as he came round he cried, I think 90% of it was disorientation the rest was telling me how scared he was..

I spent most of the next 24 hours hugging him, this included me sleeping on the floor, freezing my bits off (had to be the coldest night so far this year didn't it!?) with only my clothes, a coat and in the end a rug Charlie had chewed as a pup to keep me warm.

Last night finally for the first time he managed to getup on his own, and he wanted to wander out having had to err, "leak" onto a towel for the last day, and did all he needed in the garden without me having to support him and you have no idea how much I had worried about the tactics of doing this.

Well today, Saturday, we went back for a checkup, and the vet said it was better than expected, this is such a relief.

However, as you can see from the pic I will attach, Charlie had the life of royalty for that time (and its not much different now) with his water being bought to him and offered him in bowls, each dog biscuit of his tea hand fed.. and.. HE got the couch!!






Before you ask, the pillow case is covering his leg, which has about a 9" set of stitches on it, but it was more to keep the draft off it

Something useful

This is something a friend (thank you Chris) pointed me at today. Its kinda useful. Like most, I am always sceptical when it reckons 750 odd things are wrong with your PC and you look through and yes, some you go yes, I removed, that.. but others were like it when you got it and you just have that fear that you'll say "fix it" and well.. nuffin will work ever ever again.

The feelings inside

Well, since the doc put me on some pills, occasionally Ive felt odd, sometimes kinda shakey you know like when after you throw up real good and you feel a bit weak and kinda fragile, you dont actually shake but you feel like you are. Or Ive felt nautious or dizzy but not enough, just a little.

Its tough. Coz nothing is bad enough that you can really explain it proper, and its not predictable and you always manage to think of other reasons why it could be that way.. such as, you're hungry, or, tired, or didnt sleep well..

The other thing is.. Im finally losing more weight.. Ive been stuck at 15.5 stone all year and it wouldnt shift, now, Im nearer 15. Its only a few pounds and yeah not enough you could write home about, but, considering Ive been trying all year and just not getting anywhere, and finally its coming down again.. and, if it is related to the pills, nothings actually wrong enough that you know a doc would say.. stop.

Sitting here, it feels like Christmas!

For those of you who work, you'll understand!

You know how it us around Christmas when the sky is grey, its cold, miserable, you go to and from work in the dark and generally staying under the duvet sounds like the best plan ever.. And when you see at work the office is quiet as you maybe the only one in

Did I sleep for a couple of months or something?? Where is everyone??

Halloween?? isnt that next month?

OK, so, today I watched "kerching" or however its spelt, which was all about Halloween.. continued tomorrow.. Which was then followed by one of the CBBC presenters dressed up as dracula fangs and stuff about something eles Halloweeny....

Um, its 26th September (My Dads birthday), so, err, isnt halloween still 31st Oct or did I miss a new change in life somewhere??

Winter's a comin!

Its not even 8pm and yet its darker than midnight in the summer.
It seems, winter is here, or at least running at us at a huge rate. Mornings are dark enough, its so sad, everyone loves summer, no one loves winter in the same way, I love snow, I love crisp mornings, but, englands winters are just wet and miserable and grey and they seem to last ages, heck, its usually end of May or early June before you feel warmer!

Sigh..

Michael Schumacher to reture :(

Well, today sees the announcement he is retiring the end of the F1 year.

It was obvious at the end of the race when he went to hug so many of his team, not his normal reaction. It is sad. It was a glorious race, tension all the way, and yet another win for Michael in Italy.

I like so many thought less of him when he started, he was arogant and brash, but, hes mellowed with age and is a fenominal driver, and its sad hes going, but hes right, he needs to bow down for others to progress their careers and grow in their own right.

Homeopathic or just witchcraft?

Well.

If you look back in history, so many things were considered witchcraft, to be honest, at one point wearing make up was considered witchcraft, anyone having an affair was considered "under witchcraft" .. its been the blame for everything. So, is homeopathic remedies another form of witchcraft?

Well. Witchcraft is very different to pointy hats and broomstick riding and turning people into toads.

Witchcraft is more a way of life, trying to live with the earth not against it, and as a result herbs and so forth are very much within that realm. Looking back before we had great scientific laboratories, herbs were all there were to treat things, many medicines derive from plants, animals etc. They are just "purified" into little pills for us.

So, with the current change which may mean that homeopathic remedies are allowed to say what ailments they may treat, but pills and scientifically made items having to go through years of testing, while we can see that the scientists feel its unfair, perhaps we need to look at the fact that many of the homeopathic things have been around 100s if not 1000s of years, and that while they have been handed down and refined maybe, those years of people claiming it works have to count for something!

Like many people as Ive got older bits of me just dont seem to work like they used to. I am very prone to headaches, to the point I dont bother will neurofen, paracetamol, asprin etc because unless I take 3 or more of them, the headache doesnt seem effected because I have become slightly resistant to it. Similarly, I have pains in my gut, my wrist doesnt want to support my weight any more, my left foot has a whine in the morning, my backs been playing up.. Im just getting older..

But if someone said to you, put a packet of herbs in a cup and drink it once a day, and they were to go away with no side effects, no long term issues, wont make you ill in any way.. and all your problems will go..

Would you say no?

I dont think so. Problem with the pills and potions made in labs is that there are all too often, side effects. It might cure one thing, but it could make 3 more! If you read the boxes on most pills it has so many dont do this, and dont do that, and if this happens and if that happens and may causes!

For example: Neurofen (as its the only medicine pamphlet I have to hand)

Do not take them if:

you have or have ever had a stomach ulcer, perforation or bleeding
allergic to ibuprofen , to any of the ingredients, asprin or other painkillers
taking any other NSAIDs painkillers, or asprin with a dialy dose of 75mg or more
are in last 3 months of pregnancy
under 12 years old

You should ask your doctor if you can take them if

You have asthma or suffered from asthma
you have kidney, heart or liver or bowel problems
have systemic lupus erythematosus
you are taking any regular medication especially asprin, high bloodpressure or water tablets, anti-coagulants, corticosteroids, methotrexate, lithium, zidovudine
you are in the first 6 months of pregnancy or breast feeding

A final note... now heres an eye opener

nerufoen belongs to a group of medicines which may impair fertility in women...??? surely thats what headaches did :P

So, side effects:

disorders of the stomach and intestines including abdominal discomfort or pain, nausea, stomach ulcer, vomiting containing either blood or brown grit (like coffee grounds), black tarry stools, worsening of existing bowel diseases
blood disorders resulting in unexplained or unusual bruising or bleeding, fever, sore throat, moth ulcers, extreme pallor or weakness
allergic reactions including worsening of asthma, unexplained wheezing or shortness of breath, swelling of the face and tongue, collapse. In addition skin reaction (including hives and itching): these can be sever with blistering and peeling of skin.
Liver disorders that maybe indicated by yellowing of the skin and eyes or pale stools and dark urine
Kidney disorders that maybe indicated by passing less or more urine than normal, cloudy urine, blood in the urine, pain in the back and or swelling (particularly of the legs)
Nervous system disorders indicated by severe headache, neck stiffness, disorientation and light hurting the yes (**)

(** isnt that a migraine to you and me?)

and all that, may result.. for 2 pills you took to get rid of a headache!

Now think of the stuff on the market like forehead.. ok you can have allergic reactions to anything.. so ignore those, but, if they work? and have even any margin less of potential things that may come and kill you (I mean those side effects sound grim right?) wouldnt you want that new option?